We Would Gladly Become Vampires For Eva Green

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Rick has never written a serious thing in his life, some of which can be found at ESPN the Magazine, McSweeney's, Radar Magazine, Deadspin, Flak Magazine and The Morning News. The rest can be found here. He lives in Los Angeles, is a White Sox fan, and maintains a personal blog.

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Eva Green in pink

We have yet to see the Tim Burton remake of “Dark Shadows,” so all we have to go on to form our opinion on it is the trailer. But there’s something that just doesn’t sit right with us in that little preview of the movie. During the entire thing, Johnny Depp is given some kind of curse by an evil witch (played by Eva Green) because he won’t submit to her temptations? Is that what we’re supposed to get from that? Because, frankly, that just doesn’t make any sense. Why would ANYONE not submit to the will of the lovely Eva Green, who is probably one of the top 10 most attractive women currently working today? Does anyone have a logical explanation for this, other than that she’s the spawn of Satan and will take your soul, in which case, still, we’d be more than willing to make that trade? That, really, is what makes us hesitant on this movie. That they’ve made someone NOT WANT Eva Green.