» How To Go From Hook-Up To Relationship

by Alex Matlock on June 12, 2012

How to deal

Recently I’ve got a few requests from readers that are actually looking to start something serious with a woman. If you’re getting hookups on a regular basis but don’t exactly know how to turn those into a relationship, this article is for you.

Any girl and I do mean any girl (including the one night stands) can be turned into a relationship. Granted you might not want to turn one night stands into girlfriends because you think they’re easy and their not good for commitment but, let me explain something here…

It’s true that girls who are looking for a relationship tend to make guys wait but think of it this way, if you have good solid “game” you can lay even the “strongest” girls in the first night. This being said, how is she easy, if you’re the one that actually has the power to sleep with her regardless of her defenses?

In my opinion, for any potential girlfriend the process from hello to having sex should be identical (whatever works best for you). The difference comes in what you do after the act itself. If you ask every single girl that you sleep with, to leave after you have sex with her, or if you leave her house after then you’re the only one that’s classing your fling as a one night stand

Her and your world

The first step you need to take when you want to turn a hook-up into a relationship is to make her part of your world.

This is the biggest transition that one can make from one night stand/casual to any sort of commitment interest. Women love to be part of your world, the more you get her involved in it, the more she will want to feel comfortable in it.

The truth is that a lot of guys (the ones that manage to have relationships) do this sort of thing without actually realizing what they’re doing. If you’ve been in the game for a while, with fairly regular success it is definitely harder for you to make this transition. This article is here to detail the exact process for you. So let’s look at an example.

After I have sex with a girl that I just hooked-up with, I’m left with 2 options. I can either ask her to leave, never seeing her again and as a result making her a one night stand or… I can make her part of my world.

If I feel that she’s (by my standards) in any way worth a shot I’ll do it. Here’s how the process works. I give her a pair of my clean boxers, a T-shirt and then get her to come with me into the living room. I also live with 3 other girls and they’re all cool so they sometimes hang with me and my hook-ups.

Me and my roommates watch some cool classic movies, so let’s say that on this particular night we were watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I have this white shaggy carpet in front of the TV and I always keep some wine in the house.

I sit her on the carpet and pour her a glass of wine. Now you tell me, what girl in her right mind wouldn’t enjoy a glass of wine, chilling on a shaggy carpet and watching breakfast at Tifanny’s with this cool guy she just met?

Exactly, and if she hates this sort of stuff (or whatever else is part of your world) then you know right there and then that she’s NOT girlfriend material.

It’s important to note here how she’s becoming part of my world. What me and her are doing here, right now, is something that she will never ever do with anyone else. This makes me unique and her special because she can partake in such unique activities. Women die for this sort of stuff.

If she stays the night, even better, she’ll be part of my world in the morning. I wake up and, because I eat “healthy” – I cook eggs and bacon with a nice fresh fruit smoothie. Guess what? She get’s the same; she’s literally experiencing part of my life and all the unique things that come with it.

If she has a day off and I have stuff to do, not a problem, I take her with me, implicating her even more into MY WORLD. Even better we’re doing things together… something simple like going to the car parts store to pick up this new light bulb for my car’s taillight. On the way I talk about my car and all sorts of me stuff, does she really care? Not really but what I’m doing here is taking the time to educate her about the things in my life. She notices this and likes it.

It’s important to note, as well as this being a super good way to getting her involved into your life, it’s also a great way to screen her out of it. If she doesn’t like any of the activities that you do then she’s surely not going to be a good girlfriend anyway.

If she likes you world, she’s going to fall in LOVE with YOU. Not the fake you, the wanna be you, no, the real YOU! How great is that?

Keeping her interested

Another thing to take into account is you need to constantly keep her entertained…at least in one way or another. Usually when I have a casual relationship, I speak to her maybe 2-3 times a week, via texts or phone. With a person I’m interested in having a relationship with I’ll send her up to 5-15 texts a day. This shows her that I’m genuinely interested in her existence.

There’s 2 things you need to be doing here. First you need to ask her questions about her day to day activities and secondly you need to tell her about your day to day activity.

It’s very simple and they love it. They want to hear about what you ate at lunch, what fights you’re having with your roommates etc. She’s also going to tell you what she ate at lunch and the fights she’s having with her girlfriends.

This is normal and this is the sort of thing that builds up a relationship. The more you tell and listen, the more reasons she has to fall in love with you.

You’re actually getting to know this person, soon enough you’ll become very good friends. You’ll know each and every single thing there is to know about each other and that my friend is what people call a RELATIONSHIP. When this happens she will be thinking about you everywhere, on the train, at work even when she’s with her friends.

That’s how you turn hook-up into a relationship!

Remember, all you need is:

- Good “game” to get her in bed/interested.

- Making her part of your world.

- Constant entertainment: create an actual relevant presence in HER world.

This is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook that I give out. If you want to increase your success with women visit ThePlayerGuide.com - a place where the “dating” mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct (and fruitful) methods of meeting and seducing women.

About the Author

author photo

Alex Matlock is an expert in dating and woman psychology. Apart from working on his PHD in Social Psychology and writing for TSBmag he also owns ThePlayerGuide – a place where the “dating” mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct (and fruitful) methods of meeting and seducing women.

See All Posts by alexmatlock



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