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“I’m not interested” can mean that she’s genuinely not interested, or it could mean that she’s presenting you with a challenge. It all depends on the context!
There are many times in your life when you will be faced with that dreaded phrase. It could be a situation in which you’ve been dating and want to be in a relationship with her, but she declines. More often than not though, you’ll hear it in the context of you trying to pick her up- where you’ve just met and there’s zero emotional involvement. This article is focusing on that second situation, which often takes place in a bar or club environment.
She’s probably just not interested in you
Most of the time when a girl says she’s not interested in you, it’s because she’s not interested. The sooner she says this after you approach her, the more you know she is completely disinterested in you. If she’s drunk, she might even blurt it out straight away- which is great for you, because that means you won’t waste any time talking to her only to find out half an hour later that she’s repulsed by you.
When she tells you she’s not interested before you’ve managed to get the conversation off the ground, get the hell out of there. Staying and trying to convince her that you’re actually a great catch will not work. Even if you are, she will think you’re pushy and don’t respect her because you ignored her less than subtle request to leave her alone.
It’s not always about you
It’s hard not to take it personally if she’s not into you. But as clichéd as it sounds, sometimes it’s not you, it’s her. Perhaps it’s not a good time of her life to get involved with someone. Maybe she is already with someone else and figures it’s easier to tell you she’s not interested than to go into detail. It could be that she’s not straight and is sick of random guys asking her for a threesome when she tells them. When a woman tells you she’s not interested in you, she’s not going to go into detail about why- so it’s best to forget about it and move on.
Rejection happens to everyone, and it happens a lot to those who make a lot of approaches. However, if it seems that every woman you talk to tells you she’s not keen straight away, perhaps there is something about yourself which women find off-putting and you might want to find out what that is.
When it’s a challenge
Occasionally, a woman will tell you she’s not interested as her way of playing hard-to-get. You have a chance, but she wants you to work a bit harder to get with her. When she means it in this way, it shouldn’t be hard to tell. If you’ve been talking for a while and she seems genuinely interested in what you have to say, that’s a good sign. A big clue is if she says it in a suggestive or joking manner. One way to deal with this is to jokingly accuse her of being presumptuous and see where that leads (although if you’ve just pulled a move on her, that won’t work). Don’t invest too much time in her just in case she really is not interested- but do flirt for a bit longer to see what happens.