About the Author
Check out Part One here.
So let me share a few more common situations with you, and then give you the “Tactical” way to handle it:
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The Situation: You’re sick and tired of taking girls out on dates and spending money, and they come up with EXCUSES when you ask for a second date. You feel like women don’t APPRECIATE you. Most guys do things for women CONSTANTLY and get NOTHING in return.
Dude, I remember one time when I was stuck in the “Friend Zone” with a girl SO BAD. She asked me to come to her apartment at 9am on a Sunday morning to help her move to a new place. I spent ALL DAY lugging furniture. Eight hours later, I’m friggin’ sweaty and exhausted and I’m at her new place, lying on my back, hooking up her television/DVD player/stereo system. And she got a phone call from some OTHER GUY… who wanted to meet up with her!
She said to me, “Is it OK if I go out for a while?”
And (like an idiot) I say, “Oh, no problem, go ahead…I’ll just finish hooking up your stuff.”
(She never came home that night… she started dating the “other guy” and I was quickly forgotten…)
This is how guys normally react when hot girls ask us for favors. We say “Sure, no problem! What do you need? I’ll do it!” You know what I’m talking about. You like a girl and you’re always there when she needs you, but she treats you like a friend, and nothing more. You take girls on dates and spend your hard-earned cash, but you act like they’re doing YOU a favor by going out with you.
If you ever feel like you go out of your way to do nice things for women, but they don’t appreciate it.
Then it’s time to start using a Negotiator Tactic called “I.O.U.s.”
My Negotiator friend used to talk about the “Rule Of Reciprocity” (which can be MASSIVELY powerful when you use it with women…) It’s based on a rule of human nature: when someone gives us something valuable, or does us a favor, we naturally feel obligated to do something for them in return. It makes us feel uncomfortable when we think we “owe” a person something. We WANT to pay them back.
The Negotiator once told me about a hostage situation he handled. Some guy had kidnapped his ex-wife and kids, and was holed up inside a house with a shotgun. The house was surrounded by a SWAT Team. A police chopper was buzzing overhead. And in this incredibly stressful situation, the Negotiator’s job was to WIN HIS TRUST and make him feel that he was his ALLY.
Early in the negotiation, he told the hostage taker over the phone, “I want you to know, Steve, I’m going to make sure no one cuts the power inside your house, or tries to mess with you.” A while later, the Negotiator told him, “Steve, if you’re hungry or thirsty, let me know and I’ll see what I can do for you.” Now, the SWAT Team had no intention of cutting off the power…and it’s standard operating procedure to send in some food and water…but the Negotiator made it SEEM like he was doing Steve favors.
The Negotiator created a series of “I.O.U’s” to make Steve FEEL that he was going out of his way to help him. And then, when Steve asked for a pack of cigarettes. The Negotiator “called in” one of the favors he was “owed.” He said, “I can see about those cigarettes, Steve, but I’m going to need you to send the kids outside, ok? I’ve been working with you, now I need you to work with me.”
Steve didn’t hesistate. He let the kids go. And an hour later… after exchanging a few more “favors” with the Negotiator… Steve came outside with his hands in the air and surrended peacefully. No one got hurt.
So what’s the strategy here with women?
When women request things from you, you shouldn’t immediately agree to it. Instead, create an “I.O.U.” that you can cash in later. There are endless small ways to do this…and you’re creating a NEED for her to reciprocate. (This is HUMAN PSYCHOLOGY, bro…it works.)
I pick a girl up to take her on a date. She starts messing around with the radio, changing stations. I say “You know, Melissa, usually I NEVER let anyone choose the music in my car… but I’m going to make an exception for you. I just have one rule… if you put on Justin Bieber, I’m going to have to drop you off by the side of the road. I’m just kidding…go ahead. But seriously, no Bieber, and just this once.”
We enter the restaurant. We walk over to an empty table, and she goes to sit down. I smile and say, “Wow, that’s ALWAYS the side of the table that I sit on. But it’s OK, go ahead…I’m going to let you sit there this one time…because you look great in that outfit and I appreciate how you got dressed up tonight.”
I call a girl to arrange our first date on a Thursday night. She asks “where are we going to go?”
I say, “Well, there IS this super chill ‘off the radar’ bar that I usually go to on Thursdays…it’s sort of like my ‘secret hangout’ because most people don’t know about it… but you seem cool, so I can bring you there — as long as you don’t tell all your friends. Deal?”
(Notice the pattern: you’re turning “regular requests” into FAVORS that she owes you for…)
Now, you don’t want to overdo it, but when you “stack up” a few I.O.U.s, it makes it EASY to get a kiss at the end of the night. Or, to get her to invite you into her place for MORE. When you drive her back to her place (supposedly to drop her off), you can say:
“I let you choose the music in my car…I gave you my usual seat at the restaurant…AND I brought you to my super-secret Thursday night hangout…so now you need to invite me in for a drink.”
This is when the “Rule Of Reciprocity” kicks in. She’ll invite you inside…and then you’ll use the Tactics in this video to “close the deal:”
P.S. In my new video, I tell a very EMBARASSING story about how I screwed up with my ex-girlfriend… and I reveal (for the first time) a bunch of tactics that the Negotiator taught me… it’s weird, powerful stuff… just promise me you’ll use these tactics responsibly, ok? Don’t go breaking too many hearts (seriously, these tactics are THAT strong…) Here’s that link to the video (watch it now, because I’m getting a LOT of heat for this, and I might need to pull it down soon).