About the Author

Rick has never written a serious thing in his life, some of which can be found at ESPN the Magazine, McSweeney's, Radar Magazine, Deadspin, Flak Magazine and The Morning News. The rest can be found here. He lives in Los Angeles, is a White Sox fan, and maintains a personal blog.

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Jessica Biel reclining

But man, do we wish she was. Because, you see, Jessica Biel is someone that we around here at TSB consider “one damn fine hottie.” To the point, in fact, that we are pretty much considering seeing this new remake of Total Recall DESPITE the fact that we know it’s going to suck and that Jessica Biel is not, in fact, the three-boobed girl that still haunts our dreams and nightmares. But we’re still interested in seeing it because, frankly, that’s how attractive Ms. Biel is. You doubt our call, do you? Then why don’t we all take a gander at the following gallery of the lovely lady herself.

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