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Relationships are tricky. People date other people all the time, but it’s rare to see a really great, lasting relationship between two people who have great chemistry.
Some people have skewed ideas about what a relationship should look like because of popular culture and fantasies. Here are 5 truths that you should realize.
1. If you’re desperately looking for one, you’ll probably find a rotten one.
This is something most people don’t realize. They’re always thinking and saying, “Gawwwwddd I just want a boyfriend/girlfriend sooooo badddd.” Then, they go ahead and get with the first Joe Sixpack or Sally Longlegs who gives them the time of day.
This will almost always fail. Desperation leads to overlooking incompatibility. The key to finding a relationship is to learn to love being single. Learn to love life without someone else. But, keep your eyes open. A special person will come along when the time is right.
2. It’s really easy to mistake physical attraction for good chemistry.
People get into a relationship and think they’re just completely smitten with each other. They’re getting all intimate and stuff all the time, and it just seems like they’re two peas in a pod. Then, reality sets in after the initial physical lust fades.
They start to realize they’re not really that great for one another. Then, they fight, and there’s crying and hurt feelings and all sorts of messy junk. The moral of the story is do not get in a relationship because you think someone is sexy. You need something more substantial.
3. You don’t have to fight with him/her.
Often times, it seems like drama in relationships is started just because one person feels like relationships need drama to be real. This is one of those stereotypes that stems from TV and movies portraying couples at each other’s necks.
The truth is that the best relationships don’t really have much for fights or anger. Okay, maybe everyone fights once in a blue moon. But, if the communication is good and both people are on the same page, you can avoid most conflict.
4. There doesn’t always have to be one person who ‘wears the pants’.
People like to speculate about who ‘wears the pants’ in somebody else’s relationship. Usually, someone ‘wearing the pants’ actually indicates that one person is being treated unfairly. And, the person who insists on controlling the other is usually insecure about who they are.
The best relationships have mutual power. The two people give and take, share and make sacrifices equally. Decisions are discussed and made together. This ends up being most healthy and fulfilling for both people.
5. It’s not all rainbows and daffodils.
No matter what, you have to know that a relationship is not just pure bliss. Relationships take work. They leave you feeling vulnerable and uncertain. They can sometimes be inconvenient, and they take up a lot of time.
With that being said, a good relationship is worth it. Meeting someone with whom you have a real and deep connection is one of the best feelings in the world and can create lasting joy.
Remember these truths, and you’re more likely to find a great one. Good luck, friend.