» Stealing the Girl

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Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/

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Capitalize on other guys’ mistakes. When you see a woman at the bar being hounded by a guy that’s clearly being too pushy with her, you can swoop in on the situation and emerge the winner.

The standards are low

You don’t even need to come across as particularly interesting or attractive to have a chance in this situation. The main thing you need to do is make yourself look good in comparison to the over-aggressive man.

Be a foil

While plenty of women do go for the over-aggressive, alpha male type; you know that the woman you are targeting in this situation is not into that because you just saw her reject one. You need to be his opposite. Listen to her, don’t be too keen, don’t try to constantly assert your masculinity. Do the complete reverse of whatever he did to turn her off.

How to approach

You can approach while she’s still trying to ward off the guy, or straight away after she gets rid of him, or a little while later so she’s had time to settle from the experience. Any of these will work in the right situation- do what’s most convenient and obvious. If you’re standing next to them at the bar when you overhear him being too pushy with her, you can slide yourself into the conversation. However, you wouldn’t jump into their conversation from across the room- that would make you look desperate. If you’re not in her immediate vicinity but you can tell from afar that he is being too keen for her liking, it’s best to wait a few minutes before you go to talk to her. Don’t wait too long, or she will have forgotten about her unfortunate experience with the first guy and won’t think to compare you.

You don’t need to say anything about his technique. She knows that he was too aggressive, so don’t point it out as a way of making conversation. The best way to do it is to be his complete opposite by showing her through your actions that you’re not overly insistent.

Don’t confront the guy

Getting in a fight will not help your pulling power. If you accuse the guy of being too forceful, you run the risk of him being an aggressive drunk all wanting to put you in your place. Being confrontational will also make you look like just another hunk of testosterone, willing to punch on over something that’s none of your business. She’s not interested in the first guy who is too pushy- she’s not going to be keen on more of the same.

When it doesn’t work

Stealing the girl isn’t a fool proof plan. It’s possible that her rejection of the first guy isn’t because he blew it by being too brash. It might be that she is not out looking to pick up, or that she is into aggressive men but that one was particularly unattractive, or that she’s not attracted to men at all. If she’s not interested in you, at least you won’t waste much time on her. As you would have seen from her rejection of the man before you, she’ll make it apparent if she’s not keen.

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