About the Author
Don’t you hate it when women don’t reply to your emails? I mean, writing a solid email takes TIME. Maybe you tried to add a bit of humor to try and make her laugh and “connect” with you. But despite that, she still doesn’t write you back. Not even a “No thanks. I’m not interested.” response.
What’s going on here? Are women just mean? Are they just seeking attention from you with no real intention of writing you back? Getting no responses from women after you’ve put in a lot of effort can get frustrating, so I understand where most guys are coming from.
However, the reason most women don’t respond is because men keep making the SAME MISTAKES over and over again. And to make it worse, most guys don’t even REALIZE they’re doing something wrong in the first place.
Believe me, I know. I was there. It took me YEARS to figure it all out. And to help ensure you get better results, I’ve listed the top 5 mistakes guys make when they email women online:
Mistake #1 – Opening With A Bad Headline
Imagine you’re a beautiful woman for a second. You join a dating site and post your photos. What do you think happens next? If you said an onslaught of emails from guys trying to get your attention, you’d be right.
But what does that look like from HER point of view? Depending on how attractive she is, her inbox will fill up FAST. She can’t possibly spend time reviewing all these guys, so she has to SORT through the messages she’s received.
Think about it. If she gets 30 messages in a day (not uncommon for a beautiful woman), she might click on 5 or 6 of them AT MOST. She’s going to click the emails with subject lines that are the most INTRIGUING and UNIQUE. This means you must make your headline STAND OUT.
Don’t write some boring cliché like “Hi, how are you?” or “Wow you’re beautiful” like every other guy. Be DIFFERENT and write something she’s never seen before like: “Your Adventure Starts Here” or “Let’s Get Lost Together”.
Just ask yourself if other guys would send her something similar to what you’re going to write her. If the answer is yes, DON’T USE IT. Be unique and create a sense of CURIOSITY so that she can’t resist clicking your email and reading more about you.
?Mistake #2 – Only Complimenting Her Looks
Another mistake guys make is contacting a woman and only complimenting her looks. Men get turned on visually so when they see a picture of a hot chick online, their first reaction is to shower her with compliments about how gorgeous she is.
Attractive women get these compliments all the time in real life, and it easily transfers over into the online world. Show that you can look past just her photos and compliment her on something that defines her as a PERSON.
Online dating makes this a cinch, as her profile provides information about her background, hobbies and lifestyle. Use this knowledge to your advantage and ask her things about her life that she deems important like her job, her family, her experiences etc.
This will instantly separate you from the other 47 guys that contacted her this week. A woman is MUCH more likely to show interest in YOU if she thinks you’re interested in more than just her body.
Mistake #3 – Having Poor Grammar & Spelling
When I first started learning about online dating, I decided to create a fake profile of an attractive woman to see what kind of emails other guys would send me.
Almost every message I received had the five mistakes I’ve outlined in this email, but the one that came up the most was a complete and utter disregard for proper grammar and spelling. You might not care about that stuff, but women sure do.
A poorly written email communicates laziness, sloppiness and plain old stupidity. This is a complete turn off for women and is by far the number one reason women don’t respond. With technology today, there’s really no excuse not to run your email through a spellchecker first.
Additionally, take a minute and read your email OUT LOUD so that you can hear how it sounds. Edit and polish until it flows effortlessly without any oddities or awkward transitions.
Mistake #4 – Giving Her All The Power
Another faux pas that guys tend to do is to give the woman all their POWER. They’ll say things like “I hope you like what you see” or “If you think I’m alright, let me know.”
This is flirtation SUICIDE. It kills any hope of creating that sexual tension needed to build attraction and is symbolic to a balloon fluttering about the room as it loses all its air.
When you write things like that you give up your power as a MAN. You communicate that she’s perfect in every way and that if things are to progress further between you two, it will be entirely up to HER.
Don’t do that. Instead, make it clear that SHE has to win YOU over.
You might be taking the first step by emailing her and acknowledging your interest in her, but that doesn’t mean she’s won you over completely just yet.
She’s still has to prove herself worthy to you on multiple levels (i.e., personally, intellectually and emotionally). Communicate this in a fun and flirty way and women will feel compelled to VALIDATE themselves to you by writing you back.
Mistake #5 – Not Telling Her What To Do Next
This is a big one. A lot of women don’t respond to emails because most guys don’t know how to “close the sale.”
They’ll introduce themselves, comment on how pretty she is and then *hope* for a response. You can’t leave things open ended like that. You have to tell her what YOU want HER to do NEXT.
Remember, women want to be LED by men. Make sure you lead her through your email and tell her exactly what to do after she’s finished reading it.
In this case, you want her to email you at your personal email address. This takes her away from the dating website (and other men) into a more personal, 1-on-1 setting with YOU.
But more importantly, you are giving her a CALL TO ACTION. You are telling her what she needs to do next in order to PROGRESS with you.
This communicates confidence, leadership and high status. All of which are qualities that women find highly attractive in men.