When She Stands You Up

What exactly is being stood up?

Being stood up means that she has not turned up to a date that you have arranged, while you patiently await her arrival. It is much worse than merely cancelling plans. Cancelling plans at least shows some level of respect for your time. It is not when she is five minutes late- which is rude, but is better than not turning up at all. Obviously, there are some situations that look and feel a lot like being stood up, such as if she got into a car crash on her way to your date. You can?t justifiably be mad about unforeseen circumstances, even if you feel silly waiting in the restaurant only to eventually receive a call from her saying that an emergency prevented her from contacting you earlier.

How do you know you?ve been stood up?

While you are waiting for your date to arrive, you have no way of knowing if she has stood you up, or is just late. After waiting ten minutes (maybe fifteen if you?re a patient kind of guy), call her and ask how long she will be. In the event that she does not answer, you still do not know if you have been stood up. She could be sitting at home ignoring your calls, or she could be stuck in a traffic jam with her phone on silent. Send her a text message or leave her a voicemail saying that if you do not hear back from her in five minutes, you?re leaving. If you do not hear back, you have been stood up.

Why did she stand you up?

You should try to get to the bottom of the situation. Message her saying that you were waiting at the appointed time and that she was not there. If she never replies, leave it at that; she is probably hoping that you stop contacting her and disappear out of her life. In this type of situation, it is usually that she has only agreed to a date to make you shut up. This is a poor strategy on her part, but it can happen if you have been too pushy. Most likely, she will reply with some excuse about why she could not come and did not contact you to cancel. You need to decide if it is a genuine reason or not.

No chances

She does not deserve another chance with you if she has stood you up. You do not want to act like it is fine for her to stand you up, and then somehow enter into a relationship with her; one day in the distant future, she will stand you up at your wedding. Make it clear to her that it is not okay for her to not show up for a date, and then expect you to dutifully schedule in another date. Even if you are still interested in her and willing to forgive her, you need to refuse to put in any effort. It is up to her to plan the next date. If you do decide to see her again, let her know that if she stands you up again, there are absolutely no more chances.