The Craft of Friendship: The Power of Loyalty
I want to talk about a deeper concept of friendship today and I want to talk a little about my best friend Josh. We have been best friends for ten years now and he was the first guy I got really close to after studying Nathan the summer before college. Everyone...
Advanced College Pranks: Try These at Home
Classic “Pranks” Things getting a little to cyclic around your place? Everyone just seems in a rut and goes with the flow of things? Well whenever you’re looking to throw a cog into the wheel look no further than a good solid prank. Why? It’s...
The Craft of Friendship: How To Be A Friend
I’ll start by telling you guys a secret. I have written and re-written this article a lot in the last week, both in my head on my laptop. I write articles and blog posts for a living and this one makes me really nervous. I think it’s because this...
Idiots I Went To High School With: The Legend of The Booty Buster
It was sometime in May. Year: 2001. I was at a high school party, swishing a mouthful of stale beer, when this doofus came scampering into the room. To get a sense of this kid, picture a boner. Seriously, picture a throbbing boner with a huge vein jutting...
Idiots I Went To College With: Fat Mark
‘The Boys Are Back In Town’ is a song I associate with, not one of my own memories, but with this fat fuck I went to college with named Mark. I met Mark in my freshmen year because he lived in my wing. For the most part, all the guys in the wing were...
Icebreaker Orientation into the Real World
Sup seniors! Oh, I’m sorry, let me rephrase that: “Holler!” That’s what you crazy kids are saying these days, right? Right. Okay, so welcome to summer orientation! I’ll bet you guys are PSYCHED to be in the REAL WORLD!!! WOOOOO!!! REAL WORLD!!!...
Living With Integrity: A Parable
I once met a woman who didn’t give a fuck. She was so devoid of a fuck to give, it radiated off her. She tattooed it on other people, tattooed it on the world. I wanted that. Her name was Dr. Greene. She was an endocrinologist. My junior year of college...
A DuD: The Prom Bomb
I started writing the Another Date under Distress (A DuD) column to spotlight my own dating follies and courtship bloopers. And while I have a volume of memories that attest to poor mating decisions, I’ve also had a hand in ruining other people’s...
Hitting a New Level of Drunkenness: Weekend at Bernie’s Drunk
Picture Nancy Kerrigan, right after she’d been “Gilloolyed,” trying to pull off a Travolta-esque strut (circa Saturday Night Fever). If you can see that, you can see my inebriated friend “Nacho’s” swagger the notorious night he became Bernie....
The Diary of Dumb Things I Did In College: The Wet Bandits Heist (Part IV)
(Catch up here first, with Part I, Part II, and Part III) I picked up to a machine-gunning voice: “The dean wants you in her office, immediately, first thing this morning.” The voice was that of a secretary, maybe an assistant, probably a soccer mom....
