My advice to him is exactly what you’d expect: get on with your life, remove yourself from the outcome of trying to get her back, meet other girls. Yet I know my little cheerful pep talks are only air, falling on deaf ears that only want to hear a fantasy tale with a happy ending. I know this because that’s all I want to hear the times I’ve been the one on the other end of the receiver.

Yet the cheerleader routine must be recited, and I obliged. However, somewhere in between riffing on the theme of “Moving On” and “Distract Yourself with Other Shit,” a curious turn of phase left my mouth. I asked my friend, “How do you think the man you WANT to become would handle this situation?”

When there was radio silence on the other end, I jumped at the opportunity to browbeat my heartbroken friend a bit (hey, tough love!), telling him: “I’ll bet the guy you picture yourself becoming wouldn’t be whining on the phone with me, trying to concoct some Wile E. Coyote plan to woo your ex back, now would he?”

Again, radio silence.

So I continued, “Fuck no! That guy would be using his newfound free time to build his empire. You have dreams, you have things you want to accomplish, you have a vision that’s not yet realized, right? Don’t you? Then why don’t you focus on THAT rather than live in the past, wishing you could change someone’s feelings for you!”

After a few more encouraging platitudes, I hung up and reflected on what I just said. How would the man I want to become handle EVERYTHING? All-too-often I lose sight of what I really want in life, opting for simple pleasures and immediate gratification. Now, part of becoming the guy I want to become is practicing some moderation and knowing how to kick back and enjoy myself.

Yet, if I’m honest, “moderation” is often just a convenient euphemism for “doing whatever the fuck I want.” How many times a day must I check Facebook? How many times have I blown off working out to kick back with some cold beers? How many mornings have I slept in late to avoid working on my novel? Is this the man I want to become, or is it the man who it’s easier to be?

So often the advice I personally need most is the advice I’m preaching the hardest. And if I take honest inventory of my life, probably close to 90% of my decisions aren’t made by the man I want to become. They’re made doing what’s easier.

Recently I posted on the TSB Fan page a challenge for men to stop watching porn. As always, whenever I mention porn, I was met with a zealous rebuttal where guys asserted the “importance” of porn in their lives. The debate left me feeling sad for the same reason my friend’s disregard of my motivational breakup speech made me sad. People just do what’s easy and then backwards rationalize their shitty decisions. I call it “moderation;” the guys on the TSB Fan page call it “importance;” my newly single friend calls it “but I can’t get over her!” Whatever label you give it, the implications are the same: you’re not acting like the man you want to become!

To take it a step further, and to invoke a graphic image, imagine yourself a few moments post-ejaculation after a steamy session of watching internet porn. Imagine the mess in front of you that you now need to wipe up, imagine the faked screams coming from your computer speakers, which now aren’t sexy or arousing at all, imagine that feeling the moment after you’ve came yet again, but you’re still as lonely and as single as you were before. Imagining that? Now picture the guy you WANT to become looking over that scene. Would he be impressed? Proud? Happy you’re spending your time jacking off to other people having exaggerated sex?

Or would he want better for you? Would he hope you’d use your time to become…well…HIM. And that’s the note I want end on. As always, I’m not saying you need to become some super productive robot that only pursues higher goals and aspirations, yet I am challenging you to stop taking the easy way. No matter what life throws your way—and even if life isn’t throwing ANYTHING your way—remember that the decisions you make will either help you become the man you want yourself to be, or they’ll just be euphemisms for taking the low road.

>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.

Read our Mobile Site and join the discussion by following our TSB Facebook Page! You should also take part in our 31 Days to Better Game Challenge.

How to Get Better Game with Women

Here are a collection of articles that will help take your game to the next level. I selected these articles because they cover a variety different topics, that when combined together will help improve your game… A LOT.

An Illogical Guide to Picking Up Women:  In this article we talk about how attraction is not logical, and that if you want to seduce a girl you need to play into her emotions more than her brain.

How to Be a Compelling Character in Your Social Scene:  In this article I share a major insight into what makes certain men the center of their social scenes.  It involves “drama” and in this article I explain how to use it.

How to Pickup Girls on the Street:  Roosh wrote a really great post about about picking up girls while walking down the street. He lays out the six elements that contribute to success at day game.

How to Make Girls Laugh:  Here is an article that covers what I believe is the biggest “aha” I had towards being “funny” with women and getting a positive reaction from them.

9 Ways to Have Better Conversations with Women:  This is part one of a two part article providing nine of my favorite tactics for becoming a better “talker” with girls.

9 Ways to Have Better Conversations with Women (part 2)  This is the second part of the series on tips for improving your conversations with girls.

7 Emotional Mistakes Men Make with Women:  In this article you’ll become aware of the 7 most common “emotional” mistakes that ruin men’s chances with a girl they really like.

How to Hook up with a “tease”:  Did you ever a girl just drive you crazy like she was interested in you? Only to pull away? Some girls love teasing guys.  Here’s how to get those girls.

Why You Should be “Shameless” with Women:  Rob talks about the benefits of a little “shameless” honesty and how being direct with a woman will often attract her a lot more than you would think.

How to Get Swagger:  Rob describes “swagger” and what he believes is the key to get swagger in life and with women.

Press Play now to watch a free video presentation about how to take things to a “sexual level,” close the deal, and get her back to your bedroom.

1. According to the U.S. census, there are 95.9 million unmarried people in the U.S. of which 47% are men and 53% are women.

Considering that nearly 40% of men do not feel confident meeting a woman for the first time (this number is probably much larger since most men won’t admit this, plus many of them have no game) you have an incredibly large variety of women to choose from. Basically, if you can muster up the courage to go out there and approach women the mathematical chances of you actually landing something are fantastic. To put it in a realistic perspective, that’s around 1 single gutsy guy (you) for every 3-4 women out there.

2. When a man first approaches a woman, she will base 55% of her initial impression of him on his appearance and body language, 38% on his style of speaking, and 7% on what he actually says.

This proves what I’ve been saying for so long, what you say bares very little importance compared to how you say it. This is exactly why there’s no such thing as a magic opener and a simple, well said “Hi” will always do the trick.

3. In a survey of 5,000 singles conducted by Match.com, 43% said fresh breath mattered the most before a date, 17% said stylish clothes, 15% said sexy fragrance, 14% said good skin, and 10% said great hair also if a man can’t decide what to wear on a date, he might want to wear blue. Studies show that women are attracted to men in blue.

Looks like a blue shirt and some decent flossing can work wonders on a first date. Fresh breath will not only stop her from puking all over you but will actually increase the chances of a makeout session during the date which as we already know, often times leads to a first date lay.

4. Studies show that happiness is contagious and that potential dates find it hard to walk away from happy people. One of the biggest turn-offs during a date is negativity.

More turn-offs for women would include cystic acne, raggedy nails, flatulence and belching, missing teeth, body odor, bad breath, hairy nostrils, “man boobs,” “goofy” glasses, and hair “mistakes.”
Guess that drops a bomb on all you guys that are still not showering and farting on dates.

5. If you want to create an instant link with a date, say his or her name at least twice in the conversation.

This shows that you’re paying attention and that you are also able to connect with her. It also works well in phone conversations and even texts. I found that asking a girl what she’s doing in the third person will get me a reply more often than a regular text. Say: “So, how was Amber’s day at [place]?” You will often find that she replies in the same tone having a little humor in your texts.

6. Studies show that remembering bits of information about a person and working them into conversations not only is highly flattering but also shows interest.

This works tremendously well and is the sole reason why it’s absolutely paramount to keep a notepad when dating more women. At the moment I’m dating 4 women and if I wouldn’t take down notes after every date I’d be a complete mess each time because I constantly mix up things I told and was told by one person with the other.

7. Studies show that schools, colleges, coffee shops, and malls are all excellent places to flirt because people are more open to meeting others in these places. Poor locations are restaurants and movie theaters.

If you’re still in college, you better not be wasting this opportunity and if you’re no longer in college you better be hitting those coffee shops and malls. I actually have girl-friends that go to coffee shops waiting to meet guys that have the courage to sit down next to them and start a conversation.

8. If a group of women are standing together but their eyes are wandering, they are likely to be looking for guys. If they each take a turn to break away from the group to head to the bathroom alone, they are on the prowl. If they are huddled together giggling, they are usually not interested in finding men.

This is exactly why scouting is so important. Don’t waste your time with chicks that will never go anywhere. Check out your prospect and make a move. Also, don’t confuse actually checking out prospects to standing there and doing nothing the whole night.

9. Over 50% of all singles in America have not had a date in more than two years.

Don’t let this be you. Go out there and just approach women. Even if you are mentally handicapped, odds are some chick will like you regardless of what you say/do – you just have to give yourself enough opportunities for that to happen.

This is the sort of stuff I discuss on my blog and in the free eBook I give out. If you want to increase your success with women, visit ThePlayerGuide – a place where the dating mindset is thrown out the window in favor of more direct and fruitful methods of meeting and seducing women.

(References for this article in order of appearance: CensusBureau.gov; Mapes, Diane. 2006. How to Date in a Post-Dating World. Seattle, WA: Sasquatch Books; Zdrock, Victoria. 2008. Dr. Z on Scoring: How to Pick Up, Seduce, and Hook Up with Hot Women. New York, NY: A Fireside Book; Spindel, Janis. 2007. How to Date Men: Dating Secrets from America’s Top Matchmaker. New York, NY: Penguin Group; Naik, Anita.2004. Flirtology: Over 100 Ways to Release Your Inner Flirt. New York, NY: Penguin Books; Santagati, Steve. 2007. The MANual. New York, NY: Crown Publishing; Mapes, Diane. 2006. How to Date in a Post-Dating World. Seattle, WA: Sasquatch Books; Zaricc, Dushan and Jason Kosmos. 2006. You Didn’t Hear It From Us: Two Bartenders Serve Women the Truth about Men, Making an Impression, and Getting What You Want. New York, NY: Atria Books; also a collection of these facts and 60 more can be found here.)

Read our Mobile Site and join the discussion by following our TSB Facebook Page! You should also take part in our 31 Days to Better Game Challenge.

Teaching at my last workshop here in Los Angeles, I started talking about qualification.

Not two minutes in did a client raise they hand and say, “YES. Please explain this qualification thing, I’ve never been able to get it.”

I’ve also heard the same thing from my readers – many, many times.

Apparently, this whole “you’ve gotta qualify her bro” advice just isn’t hitting the way it needs to and that makes me really really sad.

So in this series, I’m going to explain some of the nuances behind “Qualifying” and of course, the #1 secret to qualification.

(What kind of series would this be if I didn’t reveal a damn secret!)

Let’s begin with WHY qualification…

Why are we even discussing it?

Is it that important?

What the world do before bros were telling each other “you just gotta qualify her bro”..

Qualification has slowly solidified itself as the nucleus of my game, and has been crucial to my success – specifically with the girls most “in-demand”.

Here’s the thing:

Most really hot girls have seen good game before.

Whether it was from a guy reading his Jason Capital or just a dude who learned at a young age that you tease, play and challenge the girls you want…most really hot girls have seen good game before.

And they’re not impressed.

Telling that sorta cute girl you and her would never get along will probably get her chasing.

Telling that really hot girl, who’s had guys spitting game at her all day long for a more than a decade (most of it weak and supplicating), you and her would never get along will probably get her doing nothing but saying, “OK.”

I have a theory that I’ve since made a fact.

All the buying temperature stuff, the teasing, disqualifying, the role-playing – it works with ALL GIRLS.

But it works right away on the girls who haven’t been offered dick on a silver platter their whole lives – if you like the 1-10 scale, this would probably mean up to an 8.

You can open with most of this stuff, granted your sub communications are down, and tear it up.

For the girls cuter than that, you’ll find that it won’t hit nearly as consistently.

This is because, in her mind, the status roles are in her favor, not yours.

Obviously, this doesn’t apply if you have the general status like being a well-known celebrity or the situational status like buying out the VIP section.

I actually had a client recently who’s had leading roles in a lot of BIG movies but didn’t know how to use it to his advantage. All it took was a little technique from me based on this theory, and now he’s cleaning up like he should have been all along.

And that was all because he learned how to flip the Status Roles with charm and power.

So for the really attractive girls, you first have to cement the Status Roles in your favor, and then you’ll find that all the buying temperature, flirting stuff works like crazy.

(You might even find it works even BETTER because these girls haven’t let themselves so freely play and flirt like that in a long time.)

How do you flip those Status Roles?

You don’t tell her you’re a more valuable person than her – you show it.

You imply it.

And you do it by QUALIFYING.

When you qualify your prospective girl, you’re having her tell you why she meets your standards (or qualifications, the words are almost interchangeable) or you are telling her why she’s currently meeting your standards.

You wouldn’t be doing this if you were the little brother.

You would be doing this if you were the boss in charge looking for a new secretary.

Women are naturally attracted to men of higher status – period.

“Status” can range from good body language, vocal tonality and eye contact to being in the specific club where everyone knows you and responds to you positively.

And the act of qualifying itself IMPLIES your higher status role. When she buys into it, the roles are cemented in your favor.

So in the next installment of this series, because I know you’re going to TAKE ACTION and apply this information, I’m going to show you:

* how to make sure she buys into your higher status role

* the 7 key ways that qualifying builds your status levels (and her attraction for you)..

* and the #1 secret to qualifying that I now mandate all my clients REMEMBER FOREVER..

Ohh, the suspense.

See you at the next one.

Check out Jason Capital’s free video where he reveals his favorite methods for meeting women.

Yeah, that’s a pretty brave thing to open up with. But stick with me and I’ll explain how you’ve probably been conned by most of the self-help gurus out there into focusing on the WRONG thing to build your confidence.

Look, it’s a fact: Confidence building is one of the most important things for every person out there. Men and women.

We all want to look self-assured and powerful to other people. Not to mention, we just want to feel confident enough to try new things and venture out of our claustrophobic comfort zone.

- What women would you approach if you had more confidence?

- What business opportunities would you seek if you had more confidence?

- What kind of hobbies would you try if confidence was no longer an issue for you?

Well, the fact remains that most of us are focusing on getting more confidence – and it’s actually creating more anxiety and problems for us.

In a second I’ll explain why this is, and how you avoid this trap – so that you can have all the confidence you want – anytime, anyplace.

But first you need to understand that most of the modern self-help stuff focuses on how you overcome your fears when you’re in a situation where you lack confidence. But this is the worst thing possible for you, because when you focus on defeating your fear, you’re battling a monster that can NEVER be killed.

Sure, he can be battered into submission every once in a while, but usually he’s back – stronger than ever – the next time.

So what do you do? Give up?

No.

You simple STOP FIGHTING FEAR.

It’s really that simple.

Because inevitably, when your mind knows that fear is there, you start to really hate the FEELING of fear. Because there’s a battle up ahead, yo!

Your mind starts to become conditioned to expect the sensation of fear, and it knows that it’s about to be put into battle mode once again, and then you start thinking this:

“Oh, man. Here we go again. Fear is coming.”

Then: “I hate this. It’s always painful. And it keeps coming back!”

And then: “Uh, maybe I can avoid it this time. Instead of getting into another long battle, I’ll just do something different instead of fighting the fear.”

And what usually happens is that you start to avoid situations where you might feel fear.

Because you know that you have to go through that long struggle with your own invincible emotions.

It’s like one of those movies where the bad guy keeps coming back and coming back and coming back…

It gets tiresome.

If it was as easy as John McClane throwing Hans Gruber off the Nakatomi building just once… well, that’d be just great. (In the movie “Die Hard” – which is required viewing for all men.)

But if Hans kept getting up and coming back after John again and again… well, that would be tiring and you’d simply turn the movie off. Not to mention just plain silly.

But that’s what FEAR is like. It’s the villain that *never* goes away.

So how do you overcome Fear once and for all?

You welcome it!

Embrace the Fear with wide open arms. Buy Fear a drink and an appetizer.

There’s a saying: “Keep my friends close, and keep my enemies CLOSER.”

That’s right on the money when it comes to your Fear.

You see, most guys out there run away from the feeling of fear, as I told you. When the sensation starts to creep into their mind, they avoid that situation. They create a learned behavior of avoiding any circumstances that invoke fear.

And so they actually avoid all the cool stuff in life.

What gets you past this is getting used to the feeling of fear, and surfing it.

Ride that bitch into the sunset, I say.

It’s like a bucking bronco, and all you have to do is just HOLD ON.

After all the initial thrashing and bucking is over, you got yourself a broke-in horse, cowboy.

It is JUST like that in the real world, by the way. Not just a clever analogy I came up with on the spot. (Pardon me while I pat myself on the back here…)

Once you learn how to just sit there WITH your fear, you’ll possess the secret to overcoming it.

It’s simply NOT FIGHTING IT!

Once you’ve managed to just sit there and deal with your fear and see that it’s only power is the mystery surrounding it, you realize that Fear is a complete load of crap. It’s just an emotional reaction that creates phantoms in your head.

You may have heard this clever little explanation of “fear”:

FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.

You see, fear has its power because it scares you with what COULD happen, not what is actually likely to happen. Fear relies on you to create all the imaginary scary stuff. And we usually go along with it.

Once you learn this principle of not fighting Fear and put it to work FOR you, you’ll discover the cool secret side-effect:

Your confidence goes through the roof.

I know, I know… It sounds totally illogical.

But the fact is that all those people out there that you think are so brave and so confident are just using this principle. They still feel the fear – but they act in spite of it.

And, as the saying goes, “Do the thing you fear, and the death of fear is certain.”

In fact, it’s the ONLY way to kill that fear and anxiety.

If you focus on “building confidence,” you’ll just wind up frustrated and defeated. Because confidence is the WRONG goal. What you need is the ability to stop going further into your head and just DO the thing you want to do.

It’s the fastest path to the confidence you seek, and you’ll discover a whole new world of possibility and success out there that you never imagined was possible.

If you want to discover more techniques to deal with fear and possess this kind of bulletproof self-confidence with women, I urge you to take a look at this special report on sexual confidence and how to trigger a woman’s primal sexual desire.

Become the person you were destined to be – and get everything you deserve as a man…!

Pretentious as it sounds, I’ll explain “the steps” I undertook that allowed me to go from working a 9-to-5 job I didn’t enjoy to basically having exactly the life I want. And while my path will certainly be different from yours, the principles of how I got there are universal.

Step 1: Feel frustrated that you’re not “doing what you’re supposed to be doing”

Awesomely, step 1 to changing your life is to hate your job. If you can’t bear the thought of sitting another 8 hours at your desk, and you live counting down the days until the weekend, that’s actually a very good sign!

If you’re not happy at your job now, it’s because you have a latent talent or passion that’s being stifled by some comfortable salaried position that keeps you in the rat race of mediocrity. Look around at your workplace and see how many people understand this, yet have “trained” themselves to enjoy the mindlessness of their medial jobs.

If you’re bored, frustrated, or angry during your day-to-day job, it’s probably because you’re doing something that isn’t in alignment with you passions.

Step 2: Identify Your Passion and Make It a “Vision”

Simply hating your job isn’t going to make you rich; however, knowing WHY you hate you job can. If you understand why you’re so miserable at your job, then it should be easy for you to pinpoint your million-dollar idea.

For me, I hated that I worked in “publishing” yet I spent most of my day looking at Excel spreadsheets of article keywords and proofing 3rd round edits of tables of contents. I knew I had a passion to actually WRITE and so my vision was finding my voice as a writer and expressing myself without all the bullshit of “traditional” publishing jobs.

Step 3: Align Your Passion with Something Profitable.

It’s all well and good to have a passion, but if you don’t align that passion with an idea that can make you money, then you’re just another “artist” who’s collecting unemployment. Recently the TSB Fanpage posted this little gem: “Here’s the secret to making a lot of money: Solve other people’s pain OR help them indulge in their passions.”

If you can match your passion with an idea that can help deliver people from pain or help them indulge in their passions, you have a winner! For me, I took all the experiences (and hilarity) I went through in my “quest” to better understand women and I wrote about it. I knew that there were plenty of guys who also wanted to better understand women, and so I found a way to align my passion (writing) with an idea that was valuable (helping guys become better with women).

Step 4: Work, Work, Work!

Perhaps the step people like to hear least, but once you’ve gotten to this step, you know the road that’s in front of you. It’s either sink or swim, but if you’re serious about your passion, and you’re serious about hating your job, then you’ll get serious about work ethic.

When I was starting out, I remember coming home from work and writing until I fell asleep at my computer. And then I woke up, when to work, and did it all over again. If I weren’t fanning the flames of my passion, it would have been torture. Yet, because I was doing something I loved, it didn’t seem all that bad.

Later, when I was in a position to quit my job, I found myself working more than ever. Eighteen-hour work days were the norm in my early days of starting my business, and I often didn’t see actual daylight…working in my apartment all day.

But, to be honest, when I think back to those days, it was very similar to when I was first learning to become good with women. The blood, sweat, and tears may suck when you’re going through it, but in retrospect, it was some of the most awesome times of my entire life….because you actually learn what you’re REALLY made of.

Step 5: Fuck Up, Learn from Your Mistakes, Soldier On

Finally, despite all your hard work, and despite following these last 4 steps to the T, you’re going to fuck up. And you might go broke, and you might cause your girlfriend to break up with you, and you might even question yourself (and all your mentors), convinced that you should have just stayed at your comfortable job.

And while these might be the most trying moments of your entrepreneurial quest, you have to remain strong and be ready to soldier on. No one succeeds on the first try. Most successful companies (and entrepreneurs) get it wrong before they ever get it right.

You’re no different. So even when it seems like you completely fucked yourself by following your passions, soldier on just a little longer. Because often success is only a revision or tweak away.

>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.

Read our Mobile Site and join the discussion by following our TSB Facebook Page! You should also take part in our 31 Days to Better Game Challenge.

Know what you’re in for

Avoid surprises later by finding out about where and with whom she lives. If you’ve just met her, you have no idea if she’s going to take you back to her luxurious penthouse or to her parents’ basement. You probably don’t want to do it in her childhood bedroom or a shared dorm room. You can invite her back to your place instead if her residence is less than ideal. Even if you don’t have a back-up plan, at least you will know her living circumstances ahead of time so you can start mentally preparing yourself for the awkward exchange with her flatmate.

Follow her lead

She might drag you straight into the bedroom, or she might sit you down for a coffee first. Either way, it doesn’t matter. She’s not going to lose interest if you don’t go straight for what you want. She’s obviously very keen on you considering she’s brought you home- so relax. You don’t need to take control of the situation. Don’t be too pushy. Let her lead the way.

The flirtation isn’t over

I did tell you to relax, but don’t drop the ball altogether. You don’t suddenly drop your game the minute you walk through the door. Make it playful above all else. Keep flirting with her and teasing her, and she will love it. Once you’ve managed to get back to her place, there’s not a lot that can go wrong. One of you might change your mind, but if you keep the banter going that’s not much of a risk.

Don’t look uncomfortable…

It’s easy to feel out of your element if you’re somewhere you haven’t been before. When you get to her place, it’s important that you don’t show it if you don’t feel totally comfortable. You’ll come across as reluctant, and she’ll wonder if you’re even that interested in her. Even if you’ve made it sufficiently clear that you’re into her, you being visibly uncomfortable isn’t attractive. You don’t want her to think you’re intimidated by being in a new setting. Act confidently even if you are a little thrown by being in her territory.

…but don’t get too comfortable either

You could equally fall too far on the other side of the spectrum, and make yourself too comfortable at her house. You’re a guest at her place, so don’t go pouring yourself drinks in her kitchen or exploring the rooms of her house. Not only is it rude to act like you live there when you’re just there for the night, but it also makes you come across as being a control freak. It can even seem aggressive if you make yourself too at home at her place. Exercise common sense and act like how you think a guest should act.

Always a bonus if you ask me… ??I remarked to my friend after the movie was over: “You know, in all the movies where the guy’s wife leaves him because of a misunderstanding, and he has to prove his innocence… We just see them together again. We never get to see that scene where she apologizes for not believing him and begs him to take her back.”??We had a good laugh at that, because it’s true.

And then we went on to talk about a few of the other essential things guys should be told about women before they start dating them. You know, as a kind of “public service” pamphlet for men.

Here are 4 Things You Need To Know About Women…

4. They Love Drama

Drama rules a woman’s world. Though, she’d never describe it that way. To her, all the emotional turmoil she goes through is just the regular roller coaster ride of emotions that she views as being perfectly normal. The ups and downs of her friend’s drama, her family drama, her dog’s drama… it’s all part of the world she lives in. Guys don’t find this part of her world all that interesting – most of the time. So we do our best to avoid her drama situations. But when they involve us, the guy has to know how to handle the drama. And there’s a way you can do this quickly and effectively – if you know the secrets of how to handle women.

I’ll explain that in just a minute…

Drama is simply her living her life and riding the inevitable roller-coaster of emotional ups and downs that comes with it. She needs this in order to feel “alive” and engaged in her world. To her, it’s as necessary – and normal – as eating and breathing.  Now this leads us to the next thing about women:

3. They Are Experts At Putting Men On The Defense

Have you ever heard the term “flooding“?

It’s a psychological term for when you feel overwhelmed with emotions coming at you from someone else. Which is typically what happens when a woman sits you down and says, “We need to talk.” Those 4 words are enough to make any man freak out right there. Men seek calm and peace in their lives, so when this situation comes up for us, it really throws us off.

And women KNOW it, but they still can’t seem to help themselves from hitting us with it when their emotional tea-kettle is about to explode. You have to know when it’s coming so you can avoid the schrapnel. As they say, the best defense is a good offense.

If you have a woman in your life, or talk to women regularly (hopefully that’s every guy), you have to be ready for a woman laying a big emotional stink bomb on you at ANY given moment.

It could be drama, could be a really heavy conversation about “where this is going,” or just about anything. Especially topics related to her momentary and passing insecurities.??You have to know how to keep a level head when the time comes. And that leads us to…

2. Women Really Don’t Like ‘Nice Guys.’

And I’m not referring to the kind of nice guy who pulls her chair out for her or opens doors for her. That’s not the kind of “Nice Guy” I’m talking about here.

I’m talking about the “Nice Guy” that drives her crazy because he can’t seem to make a decision. The kind of Nice Guy that makes himself available for her all the time, anytime. Letting her walk all over him.  The kind of Nice Guy that buys a woman gifts and dinners and dates in the hopes that if he spends enough, she’ll come around.

Just an FYI, in case you haven’t figured this out on your own: You can’t “nice” a girl into bed. Not even with guilt. The truth is that nice = boring. A woman needs to feel that powerful sexual charge that tells her she’s dealing with a seriously Alpha man.??This is the guy I call the “Nice” Bad Boy.  Which leads me to…

1. She Loves Bad Boys

Whether we like it or not – and most of us DON’T like it… Women LOVE Bad Boys.

The Bad Boy is unapologetically sexual with women, and as a result, he gets to sleep with more women than most average guys out there. Why? What is it these guys do that gets women???Well, first of all, he knows how to handle her drama. He knows that when she pulls out the emotional big guns, he can take it. He isn’t thrown for a loop.

He also has the confidence to handle any emotional barrage a woman can come up with. He’s never rattled by her.??He also knows that women SAY they want a nice guy, but they really don’t mean “nice” in that way. Women want a man who can respect them and treat them well – but they absolutely need a guy that knows how to trigger her feeling of adventure and excitement.??When she comes to him with a big, heavy emotional trip – The Bad Boy knows what to say and how to handle her.??The Bad Boy really isn’t “bad.”??He’s just the guy we’ve been made to believe is the hurt, James Dean type. Standing on a street corner with his leather motorcycle jacket.

Guys have been brainwashed into thinking he’s out there, and he’s the enemy. He hurts women and mistreats them. He’s a jerk. ??In reality, there’s actually no such thing as a “Bad Boy.” The Bad Boy is actually just a *set of skills* with women that the Nice Guy is missing.  That’s it!? It’s a formula that any guy can use to get women hopelessly addicted to him.

If you’d like to discover this formula for yourself – to be the “nice guy” that flies in under her radar – and gets laid…??Then you need to see THIS – The Secret Formula for changing almost any woman’s mind about you and making her BEG to be your girlfriend…

Here is a collection of 10 articles that you can review before your next date to make sure that it doesn’t end with a hug or a handshake and then never seeing her again.

We went back through the TSB archives and located some awesome articles that you can learn a lot from.

Creating Multiple Dates in One Night: Chase Amante talks about the power of moving locations on your dates.  The more locations you can bring her to the more time you spend with her, and the more memories you create.

First Date Survival Guide:  Roosh gives his first date survival guide including the important concepts that you must remember if you want the date to be a success.

The Psychology of Seduction:  Having success on a date is greatly influenced by how much you understand the psychology of a seduction. This article goes through the six weapons of influence that you can use in a seduction.

The 7 Seduction Archetypes:  In the book “The Art of Seduction” they list the seven types of guys that women like. In this article I discuss them in more depth and provide modern examples of the Seduction archetypes.

How to Create Rapport on a Date:  In this article I discuss the right type of rapport to create with a woman. Most guys get rapport completely wrong and wind up placing them selves in the friend zone.

The Onion Theory:  This article talks about turning yourself into an onion with multiple layers that a woman has to continually people away to learn more and more about you.

Great way to build attraction on a date:  Here is a technique that is sure to jump start attraction when you’re out on a date with a girl.  It’s called “the take away”

The Subtle and Fine Art of Flirting:  Whether you’re out on a date, or just meeting a girl for the first time its super important that you understand exactly how to flirt effectively.

8 Common Dating Myths:  Ron Luis walks you through the 8 dating myths that might be holding you back from success.

Cocky Funny Examples:  We all have heard the expression “cocky funny”.  Well this article gives you some cocky funny examples you can use on a date to build attraction.

So, I see a major factor when deciding if I’m compatible with a girlfriend: social compatibility. Here’s why. Before we jump in, I want to make it clear I’m talking about girlfriends and relationships and not just banging random hot chicks. I’m all about nailing hotties and could care less about her friends if that’s the phase I’m in. But when I’m in relationship phase, the social question factors in.

Social compatibility is basically who her friends are and who she spends time with outside of the relationship. I look for women who have broad and rich social circles filled with high quality people. I look for her friends to be guys and girls that I want to hang out with. I look for successful professionals, creatives, business owners, athletic types, and folks who are down-to-earth and interesting. They don’t have to be millionaires and politicians, but they should have respectable jobs, interesting hobbies, and side projects going on. I avoid people who are addicted to drugs and have major personality flaws.

I don’t like it when the chick has no friends or her friends are losers. I generally don’t look for trophy girlfriends who have no friends of their own, although I can do that for a short time period. I have an exceptional social circle and it’s important that she can hang in my social circle and also that her friends could mesh with mine if the occasion called for it.

All of this is important because I’ve discovered when you surround yourself with intelligent, successful people, it helps to bring you success. If you spend time in negative social circles, it tends to derail your life. I see it as a Law of Attraction thing.

On a practical level, when you’re in a relationship, there’s no question that you’ll meet each other’s friends and spend some time with them. A relationship is as much about entering someone’s social circle as it is about being with her privately. So social compatibility can’t be avoided.

I had this one smoking hot girlfriend back in the day who had a normal day job and bartended at night. All of her friends were bartenders and restaurant people…which was cool for like a week, but they partied way too much and didn’t have a lot of creative energy. I had to get rid of that chick because I couldn’t stand being around her friends. It brought me down and did a number on my liver to boot.

On the other hand, I had this one girlfriend who was a doctor and her friends were awesome. They were smart, positive people, and it was easy for me to mesh with her social circle.

The drawback to social compatibility is it’s damn hard to find a chick who can mesh with my social requirements and vice versa. I’ll even relax my standards just a tad to make sure I don’t filter everyone out. One good thing about social compatibility is it’s easy to tell on the first date if this is headed in the right direction. I simply ask, “Who do you hang out with after hours? Who’s your crew?” and that gets the ball rolling.