The Beauty of Acting Naturally
Here is another Derek Vitalio article.
Act Natural Around Women
Most guys are either too nervous or too fake when approaching ladies. But states have significant drawbacks. The only way to defeat all those problems and have success every time is to act in a natural way. Easier said than done but, using some of the skills I can teach you, perfectly doable.
In the Wish-I-Forgot mists of time
I want you to take a moment and step into that time machine we call memory, and travel back to the first time you approached a girl.
Or the first time you talked to a girl with romantic intent “ maybe calling her off your junior high phone list, whatever.
Now, fine-tune that machine and dont glaze over a thing “ get deeper than the facts and acts, examine the emotions and colors?
What do you see?
Does it, perhaps, involve sweaty palms and a clumsy tongue?
Eyes cast downward and body twitchy?
Now, much less taxing, think back to the most RECENT encounter youve had with a woman.
Your mom doesnt count.
What was it like?
Was it similar to your first in any way?
Did you get jittery, even if only for a second?
Did you TALK to her while nervous?
That aint good.
The problem with nerves
We ALL get nervous occasionally “ usually in a nice simple relationship to our experience and her attractiveness.
It doesnt take a genius to figure out that nervousness isnt a good thing “ in fact, its about the WORST thing you can carry into a pick-up. Any chance of being thought of as confident or together is gone, instantly.
Now, dealing with it isnt as easy as realizing its a problem.
Now the REAL nut is, nerves arent the only thing you have to worry about.
Playing the game?
Lots of guys have come up with their own ways to push the nerves to the side “ whether its putting on a different persona, psyching themselves up, getting into a war mentality or what-have-you.
True, this works a little better than the big stutter “ since at least youre making contact.
But also true, if you are acting differently from your normal, non-flirting self, a woman will know it.
And unless you got an indiscriminately randy lady on your hands, that false front is ALWAYS going to cause problems.
Thats why it aint enough to simply be RELAXED, youve also got to be NATURAL.
The biggest key, of course, is defeating your nerves.
One of the BEST methods Ive found is through a little self-guided meditation.
Im not going to give away all my secrets, BUT I can tell you the basics.
Once youve got yourself in the right state, you call up both your nervous emotions, and then your positive relaxed ones.
Then, you CONSUME your negative thoughts with your positive ones.
The result is, whenever you start to get those butterflies, youve conditioned yourself to call up POSITIVE RELAXED states.
Now, that might seem like the toughest part, and indeed, for you it might be.
Lose the mask
But if youve developed a player mode to help get rid of your flutters, than deprogramming this damaging behavior might take even more time.
Why? Because, in comparison to your earlier attempts, its done the job. Sure, it actually hurts in the larger scheme, but youre used to thinking of it as something that works (albeit in a scatter shot way).
When you encounter a stumbling block, youre going to be REALLY tempted to revert.
Youve created a comfort around this persona, and UNLESS you concentrate, your head is going to keep returning to it.
Unlike with nerves, which has NEVER had any positive reinforcement.
So now, lets work on CONVINCING yourself that a NATURAL approach is the way to go.
Role-play time dont enjoy it TOO much
Say youre a woman.
Alright, stop fondling your breasts and get serious.
Two guys come up to you, identical in nearly every way.
The only difference is, one seems to be living his life, while the other seems to be chasing you.
Which one are you more likely to be attracted to?
Yeah, whenever you put on your player mask, you are telling the woman you WANT HER. BAD.
You create a chase scenario “ with you as the pursuer.
Its human nature to run when youre being chased.
Whats more, theres none of that sparkling mystery involved. You want her, so she can have you whenever she feels like it. Simple as that.
Compare this to the same dude, just as cool, just as charming, but he isnt chasing you.
Hes fun without forcing it, and doesnt have an ulterior motive.
He is who he is.
Not to mention, there a good bit of intrigue.
Make her think and WORK for your attention. Dont give it away.
I mean, the female you thinks, most guys throw themselves at me. But not this one, I wonder if hes even interested? I wonder if I can GET him interested?
You dont have to watch a lot of teen flicks to know guys prefer the unreachable lady, and ladies reject guys who obviously worship them.
In the movies often the guys and gals end up with the one theyre supposed to be with and not the one whos out of reach.
Thats not usually the way it REALLY works, though.
And even in the movies the unreachable bitchy hottie needs to BECOME reachable before shes rejected.
As long as shes out of reach “ or thought of that way “ shes more alluring.
And it works the same way with ladies.
Put on your player face, and you are COMPLETELY reachable. And wheres the fun in that?
Again, saying its good to be natural and actually ACTING naturally around hot women is a very different thing. And again, if you want in on the secrets that will make all the difference, you should check out my program Opening Magic. It will change everything for you.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About MikeStoute Michael Stoute here, and at your service. I am a writer/editor/lover and a fighter. My words are weapons of wisdom so watch out, you may learn something...or better yet, maybe you can teach me something! Have a question? Please try to leave it in the comments, it will get a faster response than an email. Otherwise, Email Me