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Active Disinterest


Here is something that Style posted awhile back that may be helpful for those of you still confused about opening girls in the right frame.

Displaying Active Disinterest by Neil Strauss

Someone asked about using a neg as an opener in a recent thread. The reply is: Yes, in fact you MUST neg to open sometimes or you won’t get in. In the scene I’ve been sarging in lately, with highly socially proofed girls who are 9s and 10s, negs are the ONLY way to open. I’ll explain in a mini FR below. It’s unbelievable: every girl assumes anything you say (opinion openers, C&F, whatever) is hitting on her, because she’s so used to it.

So the best way to sarge is to have:
Social Proof
A Good Looking Pivot
Neg right away–make her NOT like you first.

I’ve found that with an HB, if you can get her to NOT like you and then REFRAME and get her to really like you within a couple minutes, you are so IN it’s ridiculous.

I recently had an epiphany, and I’ll share it here: I realized that I have been doing something REALLY wrong for a while. Normally, in a strip club or at a party with a SHB, I’d just ignore her. Then, after some time, I’d eventually work my way around to doing my material.

But, what works with these girls, is conveying ACTIVE DISINTEREST. And this doesn’t mean just throwing a neg in there. It means totally being obnoxious and rude to them. The challenge is that, as soon as you meet one of these girls, you MUST talk right away. But for most of these girls, simply talking to them is an IOI in itself. So you must give them an active IOD. I’ve realized that the steps are this to get in — and this is all pre-opener.

I. You must come in strong, with great body language, and be so non-needy. You must totally shoot her down before she even opens her mouth. This means not ignoring her, but talking instantly and talking down to her.

II. Then a shit test will follow. You must pass this. And to do it you must not backtrack on your earlier statement. You may reframe it, but you can not under any circumstances take it back or apologize for it.

III. Once you pass the shit test, you are pretty much in. Here you can reframe your relationship (“we are so different” — pacing — “we’re like two characters in a romantic comedy, like Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant” — reframing.

IV. Now you can go into your opener.

I’ve just noticed with socially proofed hottie actress/models wanna-bes, their self-esteem is simultaneously SUPER-LOW and SUPER-HIGH at the same time. And this is a huge epiphany, because you must feed into her low self esteem without triggering her high self-esteem. If you let her know she has you, you’ve lost.

This has been on my mind lately because I had two interesting experiences the other day.

I. I was introduced to a hottie. I started to demonstrate value, and she just was not listening. It wasn’t going in her ears. I walked away and started talking to her friends. Again, without being rude at all, they just were NOT listening — even though moments before we had all exchanged names and been introduced. (In retrospect, I should have just CALLED THEM on their shitty manners.)

II. I was introduced to another hottie a 9.5. Within minutes, I called her retarded. She got pissed. I did my teasing is affection routine. She was still pissed. I told her “I refuse to apologize, it’s the way I am. Everyone is my bratty little sister until they prove otherwise.” She was still arguing with me. So I said, “I’ll tell you what. Let’s start all over….Hi, I’m Style.” Then we fluffed (and I did the Cary Grant line). But the interesting thing is that she would have had ZERO interest in fluffing with me if I hadn’t totally insulted her and passed her shit test first. Later, she was all over me, and hinted that I should get her number. I completely ignored her hint. Then later she just gave it to me.

So, anyway, I’d like to disuss other ways of conveying ACTIVE DISINTEREST. Especially casual openers and neg openers, like that old FR when I asked the HB10 and 11 if their hair was real, LOL. Would love to hear other ideas!

About MikeStoute

Michael Stoute here, and at your service. I am a writer/editor/lover and a fighter. My words are weapons of wisdom so watch out, you may learn something...or better yet, maybe you can teach me something! Have a question? Please try to leave it in the comments, it will get a faster response than an email. Otherwise, Email Me

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Let's face it.  Girl's don't make it easy for you.  She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty.  If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.

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