Tucker Max’s Guide to Closing the Deal
Some more sound advice from Tucker Max. I’ll plug his book for him, just because the man tells some hilarious stories. “I hope they serve beer in hell.” available at amazon.
When I was about 22-24 (which I would lay lots of money is your age range), I used to have this same problem. I would hook the fish, but fail to reel her more than half the time. It was so aggravating.
But it turned out to be one of the things that spurred me to revolutionize my approach. Here is what I was doing wrong, and probably what you are too:
1. You must not care if she comes home with you: Whether you realize it or not, you care if she comes home with you. You WANT to fuck her, you’re showing that you want to fuck her, she knows you want to fuck her, and because she knows you want to fuck her, she has all the power.
The solution is not to hide your desire, because you can’t do that. Women have very sensitive antenna for that shit, they will see through your deception. You legitimately have to release your desire. You have to stop caring if you fuck her or not.
I know, I sound like fucking Yoda, but I’m being serious–learning this one lesson increased my ability to close at least 2x.
Here is the dynamic: Desire is read subconsciously as a sign of weakness and desperation, and women are not going to immediately fuck a weak or desperate guy. They may cede after he puts in work and commits resources, but not before then. Women are almost always most strongly attracted to power, and powerful men do not show desire because they already have what they want. And god forbid if you show desperation. You might as well staple rotting pork to your nut-sack, because you aren’t getting anyone but starving rabid wolves in touch your privates.
Look at it from the woman’s perspective–If she is even mildly attractive, she gets hit on all the time. She often has her pick of who to fuck. The guy she is going to like, the guy who will stand out, is NOT the one that fawn over her, simply because all guys do that; the one that she has to work a little bit for is the one that will stand out and the one she will want. Whether she realizes it or not, she is looking at the guy thinking something like this, “Why is he so unconcerned about fucking me? He was nice to me and seemed to like me, but now he’s not pressing at all. He must have lots of other things going for him to be so unconcerned about getting me. I can’t immediately have him, so now I want him.”
I am simplifying to some extent, but you would be shocked at how accurate that paraphrase of the female sub-conscious thought process is.
From now on, when you are hitting on a girl, literally tell yourself: “I don’t care if she comes home with me or not” AND BELIEVE IT.
THe irony is that once you are getting a lot of pussy it is much easier for you to act like you don’t care. Take me for example. When I was 17-24, I would anything to get pussy. I wanted it bad. Then I kinda figured out what I was doing, started getting it more and more, and so I started valuing caring less and less, and as a result of my chage in attitude, I got it even more and more and even though I put in less effort and cared less. Funny how that works.
Remember the story about the girl who fought her friends off 3 TIMES and crawled out of a cab away from them to fuck me? It was because I never once sweated her, or even showed much concern one way or the other. For her, it became a challenge to get me (that, and she was pissed at her boyfriend). Had I made an effort to get her, the challenge would have been lost and she probably wouldn’t want to fuck me.
You took econ right? What drives up cost? Scarcity. The more she can’t have you, the more she wants you, and she will read your lack of desire as just that: Scarcity.
Now, truly advanced game is once you get past a certain point, just laying it out for the woman: “Yeah, I want to fuck you, but if we don’t, no big deal.” But this is way beyond where you are, and takes a much deeper understanding of mid-level game and the female psyche to work, because if you do that wrong it comes off really badly. We’ll save that for later. You can’t run a play-action pass until you establish the run.
NOTE: This does not mean completely ignore the girl. You have to establish that you like her to some extent and have some level of interest in her. What I am talking about is how to close the deal, not create the deal.
2. You must assume she is already coming home with you, and act that way.
If any of you are in sales, you know the #1 rule of selling: Act as though the sale is made. Instead of saying, “Do you want to buy my product,” you say “How much of my product are you buying?”
The difference is subtle, but has a very pronounced affect on the psyche of the buyer. You have planted the subliminal suggestion that they are buying, and framed the question as “how many” instead of “should I buy?” [Of course, people can and do back the assumption up, but much less than you would think].
This translates to game in very direct way. Once you have established a rap with the girl and it’s obvious you both like each other, the question is not “Do you want to come to my place,” but rather, “You ready to get out of here?”
Let me give you an example from my life that will show better than any explanation:
I went to a wedding about a year ago. At that wedding, I was talking to a girl, she was cute and kinda interested in me, but nothing big. This was until her friend pulled her aside and told her to stay away from me, that I had an “immoral website” and I was a player. So of course, the girl was now totally into me.
The problem was that she had come to the wedding with a date. She told me she didn’t like him and wanted to hang out with me, so I casually told her she was welcome to come with me, I was going out drinking after the reception and I’d enjoy her company, but if not, no big deal. As the night went on the drama increased between her and her friends and her date, and I ignored it completely. The chickens were clucking all around me, her date was sweating her like a piece of cheddar left out in sun, but I totally ignored them all and acted like nothing was happening, talking to the girl when she came over to me and ignoring her when she was at her table with her date. At one point, the girl was sitting with her legs pressed up against me fawning over me, and her date came over and just stood there, basically staring at her and trying to insinuate himself into our conversation. I acted like he didn’t even exist.
At the end of the reception, she was standing next to her date and a friend, staring at me across the room. I casually sauntered over to the group, looked at her and said, “You ready to go?”
Guess what she did?
Of course she left with me. But that’s not all.
In the car, she immediately gave me the “I’m not going to sleep with you” speech. I completely ignored it. Didn’t even pay an ounce of attention and talked about something else. We went someplace and had a few drinks, and then got in my car.
I didn’t ask her where she lived, I didn’t even ask her if she wanted to come to my place, I just started driving to where I was staying. When we were about a block from my place, it went like this:
Girl “Are we going to your place?”
Tucker [In a very casual, relaxed tone]”Yeah. I can take you home if you want.”
Girl “Oh…no, it’s OK…you can take me home in the morning.”
We went to my room, I gave her a shirt and shorts to wear, got ready for bed, and once we where in bed I started kissing her and we fucked all night.
Never once did I ask her what she wanted to do. The fact is, she WANTED to do what we did, but if I asked her what she wanted, she would have begged off at any number of places for any number of reasons. By just asserting my will I effectively made the decision for her.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Do not be an asshole and push this to far. That is called rape, and that makes you a truly disgusting person worthy of a slow painful death. Had the girl said, “Yes, take me home,” I would have do so without question. At any point, had she stopped me, I would have stopped. She wasn’t even drunk when we fucked, not at all. It’s not about tricking the girl or making her do something against her will, it’s about understanding people well enough to get them to do what you want them to do, but voluntarily. There is a HUGE difference between the two means to the end.
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.