Mystery Method Phone Game
Below is the latest email I got from Mystery. It is a great piece on phone game. I actually found this useful since I hate talking on the phone and blow a lot of good leads because I am too lazy to follow up.
Good Phone Game by The Mystery Method
As you probably know, Tenmagnet is one of the up and coming stars of the Mystery Method crew. Originally mentored by Mystery, Sinn, Lovedrop, and Matador, he has been raising the roof with phenomenal programs in Toronto. The next one is September 22-24. Recently, I was lucky enough to get his thoughts on one of the thornier issues in the Venusian Arts: Phone Game. Take it away, Tenmagnet:
A common problem that a lot of guys face is that theyre quite good at getting a womans phone number, but are unable to use the number to actually meet up with her again. So, Ive created Tenmagnets Phone Game Challenge.
Spend the maximum amount of time talking to women on the phone this month. Measure your success by taking your August cell phone bill, and comparing it with your September cell phone bill. The bigger the difference, the better you’ve done. No cheating my spending the month on the phone with your voice mail!
First though, let’s talk about some phone game theory.
Men and women view the telephone differently. Men view the phone as a tool that allows us to schedule our lives and arrange meet ups with our friends. For a woman, talking on the phone is almost as good as meeting up with a friend. For example, when two guys chat on the phone, the conversation usually goes.
“Hey Dave, what’s up tonight”
I’m going to Skybar at 9, wanna come”
“Yeah, totally…. hey, Ill see you there man!”.
Now I ask you guys this…. do you think women talk on the phone like that? Nope! A woman would think that a conversation like the one above is weird and unnatural, and it’s exactly the way that a lot of guys come off when we call a woman and immediately change the subject to meeting up. Women want to chat on the phone, even if it’s silly small talk, and when we understand this, we can change our phone habits so they make women enjoy our calls, and feel comfortable and natural meeting up with us.
So, here are some rules for this little exercise. Please don’t see these rules as hard and fast laws that need to be followed all the time, instead see them as part of the Phone Game Challenge, which is designed to be an exercise to improve your natural phone game.
– Contact women the next day or the same day that you get their number.
– For the first call, don’t even mention a meet up (unless you have already time bridged for that day). Just build comfort.
– For subsequent calls, don’t mention the meet up until you have chatted for at least 5 minutes.
– If you get a voicemail the first time, leave a message.
– If the woman you’re calling is busy, at work or being distracted, just say “hey, I’ll call you back when you’re not distracted”. If she tries to get you to stay, stay, unless the distraction is really annoying.
– If you have a phone number, call it every two days, even if you keep getting the answering machine. Don’t give up until you have called at least 5 times.
– If a woman is picking up the phone, still call her every two days, or more, especially if she is investing in you by calling back. Do this with ALL the phone numbers you have!
– Don’t be afraid to make small talk. If you HAVE the phone number, you are probably in Comfort! You can get away with mellow chit-chatty conversation. Talk about any topic you want; just try and make it interesting!
– Try and get into deeper conversation. What were you like in high school? Tell me about your family. Etc…
– Call your female friends and women who have LJBFed you and talk with them! They count too!
The goal of this is to make you into one of those people who is constantly talking on the phone and getting phone calls and socializing over the phone. You want to get phone backs while you are on day 2’s, and constantly interacting with a wide group of friends. You’ll be amazed how this changes your social dynamic.
Good luck guys! And post your results on the Forum!
OK, without further ado, here are some of Lovedrops thoughts, starting on page 193.
As you go into the field and practice your game, you will start to accumulate phone numbers. At some point the Venusian artist asks himself, “What do I do with these numbers? How do I convert these into relationships?”
Oftentimes it happens like this: the Venusian artist has been in the field for some weeks or months and finally he gets a number that has some importance to him. Perhaps the set went really well or the woman is one of special quality. He might even post in an online forum or call a friend with game so he can ask, “What do I do with this number? How do I get this woman?” He doesn’t want to mess this up!!
And there’s the rub. You cannot ever let some number become that important to you – much in the same way that you cannot ever let any specific courtship matter to you. Opening sets and calling numbers are both activities that you should be doing over and over again purely for the practice.
If I am going into my sixth set of the night, and I know there will be more sets tonight (and tomorrow night, etc) I am just not going to be that concerned about the outcome. Instead, I can focus on the process and play with it. I can practice my skill while simultaneously giving off a natural, comfortable vibe with the subtext: I don’t care if I mess this up. Ironically this results in a greater success rate.
The same must be true of your phone calls and your dates (time bridges.) You have to do many of them, or your skill will never improve. You can’t take any one call or date seriously. You’re just doing it for the practice. Enjoy the process. Be willing to lose and learn.
Here are just a few ideas to play around with on the phone:
* Don’t assume that every phone call must occur for the purpose of setting up a meet. Is this how you use the phone when you talk to your friends?
* Call her up soon after the set is over (that same night) and chat for a few minutes, then let her go.
* Call her in the next day or two and chat her up, then let her go. In this way you come off non-needy, and you are conditioning her to accept you as a normal part of her life. Not some bar guy, not some club fantasy last Saturday – but a real person who is a normal and regular part of her life.
* Call her when youre somewhere fun, like you would call your guy friends, just to invite her over to hang out. Whether she comes or not, youre having a good time without her and she knows it.
* Time on the phone counts towards comfort time (the seven hours.) So use it as an opportunity to build comfort, become a pleasantly chatty person, and practice. Only time on the phone will give you the practice so that you can vibe on the phone.
* If you talk to her as described above, she will likely start hinting at a meet. Especially if you talk about the fun activities and friends that you experience in your day-to-day life. It’s also perfectly reasonable to throw out an activity and see if she bites. If she doesn’t, no big deal – your life is fun and fulfilling with or without her. You’ll just get someone else. (This attitude, by the way, should be subtext to her, never explicitly communicated.)
* Even if a woman hasn’t accepted an offer to meet (or preferably made one of her own) “ its no big deal to you because as soon as you get off the phone with her, you’ve still got to call five, ten, or twenty other women and practice the same phone game with them. This is the most important piece. When you are holding that one phone number and worried that you are going to fuck it up, thats going about it all wrong. You should be out gaming regularly. Eventually you will be getting phone numbers regularly and you will be going through your calling rotation regularly as well. It’s hard to be worried about any specific number when you know that you still have 5 others to call. It’s all just practice – and the lack of neediness will be evident in your voice.
Thanks Lovedrop! Great stuff!!
To learn more on phone game and the other incredible tactics of the Mystery Method I highly recommend reading The Venutian Arts Handbook.
About MikeStoute Michael Stoute here, and at your service. I am a writer/editor/lover and a fighter. My words are weapons of wisdom so watch out, you may learn something...or better yet, maybe you can teach me something! Have a question? Please try to leave it in the comments, it will get a faster response than an email. Otherwise, Email Me