How to Get Her Steaming Hot Using the 3 Joke Stack
Here is an interesting email I recieved from Ross Jeffries the other day.
by ross jeffries
Often times, students ask me how they can introduce more “sexual” topics into the conversation.
After all, a major rule in Speed Seduction® is: how is this communication designed to capture and lead her imagination and emotions.
This is a point I emphasize over and over in the Home Study Course
So here is a great way to rapidly turn any conversation in a very sexual direction, and get the woman you want hot and steaming, all in the guise of humor.
Here is how it works.
First you say, “Do you think men understand women?”
Whatever she answers, your response is, “Hmmmâ€¦, well I don’t think women understand men, but I can explain men to any woman, in under ten minutes with three jokes. Are you game?”
If she seems reluctant or gives you any thing but an enthusiastic “yes”, walk away.
If she says “yes”, here’s what you do.
“Ok” you, say. “Here’s joke #1:
A guy has a crush on a girl and has had the crush for six months. You know what that’s likeâ€¦when you really, really want someone (say this slowly) cause you justâ€¦picture how great it is going to be with themâ€¦ (point to yourself)â€¦whatever you imagine that would be like.
So after 6 months of asking and asking she finally gives in. Maybe she figures she’ll just get rid of him or maybe she’s thinkingâ€¦ “heyâ€¦ maybe this guy knows something I don’t”.
So at 7 in the evening on the agreed upon day, there is a knock at her door. She’s not looking forward to it, but when she opens the door she gets a real surprise. There is a coachman, dressed in fine clothing. He rolls out a red carpet, takes her by the hand, and leads her to a carriage, drawn by 4 white horses. She finds that she feels her heart beating with a bit of excitement, despite herself.
Still, she feels some skepticism, but when she walks into the coach, it really takes her breath away. It’s luxuriously appointed with fine oak wood, soft leather seats, and a bouquet of fragrant and exotic flowers. “Hmmm..” she begins to think. “Maybe there IS something here for me.”
The carriage makes its way to a hill and up the slope to a fabulous and hidden cliff side restaurant. It’s lovely in all ways, and as she is escorted to the door, she notices that inside the entire restaurant is festooned with flowers and candles giving off a wonderful mixture of exotic scents.
She is led to a table by a giant glass window that indeed takes up the entire wall facing the ocean. The window is opened to let in the fragrant and fresh night air and she begins to feel a dreamy senseâ€¦of being swept away.
Her man strolls up, kisses her hand gently, and seats her and then himself. He calls upon musicians who at once, beautifully but non-intrusively play soft music that perfectly enhances the mood.
He then proceeds to ruin the entire thing by doing nothing but talk about himself for the next 3 hours. His work. His job. His passions. Who he knows. What he owns. Boringâ€¦boringâ€¦boring.
After 3 hours of this, finally he stops. Takes a breath. Looks at her with dreamy eyes and says, “But enough about me. Let’s talk about YOU. What do YOU think of me?”
Ok. EVERY woman will laugh at this. Note the romantic themes and suggestion s in this joke. Then you say,”
“Ok..joke number 2. But it’s a bit racier. I’m not sure you are up for it.”
Let her assure you that she is.
“Great”. Here it is, “A guy has a huge crush on Paris Hilton. For whatever reason, she is his ideal.
He find out Paris has booked a passage on a luxurious cruise ship, The SS Sea of Love. So he sells his house, his car, and even a kidney to raise money and spends it all on buying the luxury cabin right next to hers.
Well, as luck would have it, the ship springs a huge leak and begins to sink. He gets washed ashore on an island and who should wash up on the shore, drowning, but Paris Hilton.
He runs into the surf, and pulls her out. He clears her lungs of water and gives her CPR, and sure enough, she comes sputtering back to life, grateful as hell!
“My master,” she says. “You’ve saved my life! I’ll do ANYTHING for you. ANYTHING. What do you most desire?”
He looks at her and says, “Wellâ€¦have you ever wanted someone for a longâ€¦longâ€¦time..and nowâ€¦suddenly..here’s your chance? The truth isâ€¦ I am dyingâ€¦..to f**k you!”
So, sure enough, like 2 people (point to you and then to her) on a desert island who might never be rescued would, they go at it. Every position. Every way. Feeling totally free to drop all the restrictions and just enjoy it.
Paris spends the next 6 weeks making hot love to her man, and also scouring the island for the necessities of life. She not only enjoys great sex with him, but also cares for his every need in every way. All she wants is to make this guy (point to yourself) happy.
But, as men will be men, about 2 months later, he’s looking very bored and sad.
Paris says, “What’s wrong, master? Why are you sad?”
He says, “Paris..will you do something for me? Something to make me happy?”
Paris, “Of course, Master. Anything. What do you want?
“Well, Paris” he says. Do you see my suit jacket, pants and tie over there? I want you to put it all on, right now. So she does.
Then he says, “Now Paris, take your eyebrow pencil and draw in a mustache and beard on yourself” which she does.
Then he says, “Now, go take a walk down by the beach, by the surf.”
So she does. As she does so, he comes running up at her, tugs at the sleeve of her suit jacket and says, “dudeâ€¦dude..YOU’LL NEVER GUESS WHO I’M SLEEPING WITH!”
Ok. Third and final joke.
A guy goes in to a urologist because he is having some problems.
The Dr. says, “What seems to be the problem?”
The guy says, “Doc, every morning, I wake up with a huge, throbbing, rock-hard erection. I grab my wife, roll her over and I steam her right up the a**, hard and painful, just like she enjoys if, for half and hour. She has to scream into the pillow so the kids don’t hear it.”
“Wow,” says the Doc. “What then?”
“Well,” the guy says. “I get into work, and as soon as I get there, I grab my secretary, pull her into the office and lock the door.
And then. well Docâ€¦when was the last timeâ€¦you had sexâ€¦like a teenager? Just going at .. crazed and panicky â€¦ slippery slick with sweat like animals? Because that’s what we do .. for 25-30 minutes until we collapse on my desk.”
“Oh my God,” says the Doc. “Is there more?”
“Yes,” the guy says. “Around lunch time, I meet the bosses wife at the No Tell Mo-Tel. She’s hotâ€¦she’s young..and he’s not meeting her needs. And she likes toys, Doc. Lots of toys. Especially painful ones. What can I say? Some people likeâ€¦a little painâ€¦with their pleasure.
So I hurt her..rough..painfulâ€¦and then we do it so hard, we always wind up breaking the bed.”
“Christ” says the Doc. “That’s all, right?”
“Nope” the guy says. When I go home, before my wife gets home, I grab our Swedish maid, Ingrid. Ingrid likes to be on top. So I let her. MAN, do I let her. she’s a real back scratcher too! She rides it wild and her whole body shakes when she cums with me. It’s amazing.
“Wow,” says the Doc. By this time, he can barely speak. “Is that all?
“No,” after my wife gets home and we put the kids to bet, we go at it again. But this time it is tender. Gentle. I can feel my love flowing for her and her love flowing for me. Time just seems to disappear and we melt into each other in blissful waves of joining together.”
“Wow” says the Doc. “So what IS the problem?”
“It really hurts when I jerk off!”
Ok. So, what is the point of these jokes?
First, note the structure. We start out with a romantic theme and we embed suggestions for feeling connected, swept away, etc.
The second joke is more sexual, but not too blatant.
The third joke is really pouring it on. Not only getting her to picture these acts, but also by watching her non-verbal responses, you can get a good clue as to what she is into. Pretty clever, huh?
Now, note something. You will want to build some real comfort, before you bring these jokes up. I wouldn’t jump right in with them. They are meant as accelerators to sexualize the conversation, implant suggestions and test for what she likes sexually (or would like to try).
If you want to learn how to use your language to capture and lead her imagination and get her steaming hot, just click here:
Peace and piece,
About MikeStoute Michael Stoute here, and at your service. I am a writer/editor/lover and a fighter. My words are weapons of wisdom so watch out, you may learn something...or better yet, maybe you can teach me something! Have a question? Please try to leave it in the comments, it will get a faster response than an email. Otherwise, Email Me