On Being an Asshole

Below a great PUA of the past Rio (not Bobby Rio) tries to differentiate between being an alpha male and being an asshole. I think that many of the aspiring pua’s get confused and wind up acting more like an asshole than an alpha.

On Being an Asshole by Rio

I should know. I’ve been there and done that – and I still witness it (done
properly, and incorrectly)

I would say that being an asshole is like being an overactive toddler.
Consider:- The toddler shows his aggressiveness and decides to kick over his
older sisters toy lego castle and (and here’s the key point) WITHOUT
REALISING IT, annoying his older sister. She gets mad at him, but because
the toddler is innocent, he gets confused as to what’s going on, and starts
crying. Kid sister realises that he only a toddler, and lets him off the

It’s like being a baby who decides to try picking an ant up, and then
without realising his own strength… ends up squashing it.

I think being an asshole is a similar thing. I have older friends who
display this aggressiveness in conversation – that they tend to talk over
whoever is sitting around them. If you were to stop them and say “Hey, stop
talking over the top of me”, they would look at you, confused, and say “Ok..
ok … chill out (neg) sorry, didn’t realise I was doing it…. sure go

In this example – it shows:-
1) Alpha male has the loudest voice and is clearly in charge
2) Other person feels threatened by alpha male (as he had to get him to
3) Alpha male acts confused and innocent – defending himself from criticism.
What’s unsaid is “Hey, that’s weird… someone’s interrupting me… who
dares do that?”
4) Accidently negs the other person. Being confused, the alpha-male has
negged the other person – thinking that he is out of line for raising his
5) Appeases the other person so he doesn’t get attacked, and so the other
person can show off a bit (by which time it’s useless anyway – because the
other person has been negged)
6) All of this can be done in a social setting without pissing anyone off –
yet still being able to assert yourself.

One trait the alpha-male has is acting CONFUSED. I touched on this in my
previous posts. Alpha-male doesn’t know why or how he gets as much pussy as
he does – he has no need to read on seduction (and if he has, he’d better
pretend that he doesn’t know anything about the game»).
Like that example of the kid who accidently squishes the ant – an alpha-male
will NATURALLY piss people off without realising how he is doing it.
When bad news comes the alpha male’s way – he will have a hard time figuring
out what he did. He feels no guilt, because the alpha-male feels that he can
do no wrong. However, if he doesn find out what the problem is, and that he
is to blame, he will apologize and attempt to rectify the situation.

Have you ever been in a situation where you have accidently annoyed
someone – or had someone take what you said and reinterpret it the wrong
way? Maybe when it happened, you had difficulty understanding how or why you
did it? Maybe, in your experience, you found that whatever you did to try to
correct the situation – came out the wrong way too and made that person even
more annoyed.

That’s alpha-male frustration for you.

All an alpha-male does is powerfully and congruently go for what he wants.
He can’t understand the opposition he gets as a result, but he appeases
where he is shown to be wrong. However, if he can’t be shown to be wrong
he’ll destroy whatever it is in the way.

Watch out!

Where wanna-be alpha-males get it wrong is that they DELIBERATELY piss
people off in order to show the characteristics of an alpha-male. Such a
pathetic loser will display GUILT and KNOWLEDGE (the fruit of the tree of
knowledge being “original sin” – for a little biblical comparison) of what
he has done – and it won’t go unpunished….

This is in contrast to the alpha-males who are completely innocent (almost
like kids) and have a wild time in heaven – and find the “tree of life” and
live forever (by propogating their genes into the next generation of spoilt
brats – destined to replace him genetically)

To learn more about the balance between cocky/funny alpha and asshole check out David DeAngelo’s ebook Double your Dating.

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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