What If She Only Wants to Give an Email Address
Below is a good newsletter I got from PickUp Arts. It deals with attempting to get a woman’s phone number. Well worth reading!
She’ll Only Give Me an Email by Jay Valens
If you try to contact close enough women, you will inevitably hear the following line:
“I’m sorry, I don’t give out my phone number to strangers.”
Now, there are a lot of ways to get around this type of resistance
and convince her to actually give you her cell phone number. We
cover this exact type of scenario in our alternate scenes in the
“Art of the Pickup” DVDs.
In this day and age, you might also hear her add:
“I can give you my email address instead.”
Sometimes you can even anticipate this exact type of resistance,
and ask just for her email address first. Then while she is in the
process of writing down her email address, you ask for the phone
The idea behind this is from a sociology principle whereby people
want to be consistent with their actions and since she has already
complied to your request for an email address and is already
writing it down, the extra step of writing her phone number seems
natural and consistent. This simple sequence will drastically
improve your chances of actually getting her phone number.
Now, I could end this newsletter here, as you already have a great
tip to use.
But, the fact is there will be times when no matter what, she just
won’t give out her phone number. There can be any number of
reasons for this (usually they all have to do with her wanting to
be able to screen you) but its more important to just understand
that sometimes you will be forced to communicate with her by email.
So I want to impress on you the importance of being able to write a
good email to get a girl’s interest, because sometimes that is all
you will have left! It’s happened to me more times than I care to
admit, but I am happy to report I usually succeed.
What made me think about this recently in particular aside from my
own experiences was a few passages I was reading yesterday in
Chapter 9 of a book called “The Future of Men” by Marian Salzman,
Ira Matathia, and Ann O’Reilly. Here are a few of the ones that
stood out to me:
“The fact that so many of their potential mates are unknown to them
and their families is one reason so many women are turning to
dating sites and systems…”
“What we’re seeing isn’t just a fleeting fad of women expressing
their independence. We believe we’re in the midst of an important
shift of power taking place in the mating game as played between
men and women. For most of history, women haven’t had much choice
about whether they paired up with a man… Now it seems that women
are choosing not only with whom they want to play the mating game,
but even whether to play at all.”
“What this means for men is that they can’t automatically expect to
find a woman willing to play the mating game with them on their
terms. They’re selling in a buyer’s market, so they need to work
out some new sales pitches…”
To put this in simpler terms, my take away from all of this was
1) Women screen men now more than ever before in history because
they have more choices than ever before in history.
2) One of the ways they screen men is through the Internet, and
that means you will increasingly have to communicate with women by
3) We need some new “sales pitches” that we can communicate by
Whether it is through dating sites, social networking sites, or
women you have actually met but were only able to get their email
address, email is going to be a vital part of determining if you
succeed or fail with women.
These rules also help you avoid common pitfalls, and tell you how
to move forward to meeting her again in person. The rules are laid
out for you and then you actually look over the shoulder of one of
the guys in “The Art of the Pickup” as he writes example emails.
As I sat there and thought about what was in the book and the
confirmation of how important this single skill of writing emails
to women has been in my life, I knew I had to write a newsletter
about it. Especially for those who haven’t yet taken the step of
buying a copy for themselves, I thought, “Hey, Christmas is right
around the corner, and what is better than buying yourself a future
with much more success with women in 2007?”
Seriously, as each year goes by the skills you will learn in “The
Art of the Pickup” (of which email skills are just a small but very
important part) are just going to get more valuable to you, so I
encourage you to invest in yourself this Christmas and start that
process by clicking the link above now.
Waiting for more of your emails… your praise, your questions, and
To learn more from The Art of the Pickup grab their free “4 Secret Questions” report. It is a devastating routine that always gets the girl intrigued by you.
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About Jay Valens Jay Valens & Ray Devans are the masterminds behind The Art of the Pickup plus the founders of the first & largest site dedicated to pickup, attraction & dating advice for men... Their [pickup newsletter] is top-notch & their advice caters to average guys worldwide, not just the young college or club crowd. They regularly answer subscriber questions & have one of the most amazing pickup learning tools around, The Art of the Pickup: Tactics & Techniques.