Secrets of Escalating to a Physical Level
Here is a good Derek V article that will help keep you out of the friend zone.
Avoiding Friend zone by Derek Vitalio
Keeping yourself from becoming a friend to the woman of your attraction can be a tough thing, but if you know what youre doing, youll never have problems with it again. Follow a few steps to arouse her, and shell be wanting it as badly as you.
Our Favorite Par
Ahh, finally. Here it is, the chapter half of you skipped to first because you couldnt help yourself, the PHYSICAL chapter.
This chapter isnt the be-all end-all. In fact, its barely the beginning. But if youve ever had problems with the just friends syndrome, few instructions on this earth will do you better than this and the following.
Start at the Beginning
First, you need to be touching the woman from the START. Touch is a major nonverbal sexual cue. It doesnt have to be anything sexual “ in fact, its much better if it isnt. You dont want to slip into the scary psycho stalker demographic.
No, all you need is innocent touches from the beginning. Her shoulder, her arms, hold her hands (and later well go over strategies for that). It can be brief, it doesnt even have to be skin on skin, but you HAVE TO initiate contact from the moment you meet.
Why? Therere a bunch of good reasons, so lets start with the simple stuff. You want to anchor the thought of touch with you. She can love you, but if you dont get yourself subconsciously associated with contact, youll have trouble.
Who Said Chemistry is Boring?
More important, though, is the chemical reaction you create by touching the lady. Think about this: have you ever been around a woman who you didnt find attractive, but she glancingly touches your knee? Your hand? Your forearm as she makes a point?
What happens? If she isnt acting in a groping way (that only works with someone youre already attracted to), you probably get a little spark. Maybe a big one. Your opinion slowly starts to change. You might start to see her in a new light.
This is something called the oxytocin response. We all have it. And man, it is POWERFUL.
That electric response you feel is real. Humans are touchy creatures, and we ALL long for contact. When you have that contact, an interesting thing happens. You signal the brain to flood your system with testosterone. As most of us guys are well aware, testosterone is responsible for our sexual urges.
Thats why men tend to get horny quicker than women.
But start the oxytocin cycle, and you increase the want for more touch. And that next touch creates more testosterone, wanting more touch you see where this is going, right?
The thing about this is, the oxytocin response needs estrogen to work. While everyone has estrogen in them, women obviously have a LOT more.
Remember all those electrifying responses from contact? Well, with women the response is about 10 TIMES as strong.
Which is why women can get just as horny as any men. Or hornier.
See where Im going with this?
You need early constant contact to get the oxytocin cycle going, and to get the resultant sexual feelings associated with YOU.
Dont Go Overboard
Again, this is not a license to grab. ESPECIALLY early on, if you make too much or inappropriate contact, you can mess up the oxytocin response by creating the fight/fear feelings that testosterone is ALSO responsible for.
THIS is where your playful confidence comes into the picture. Be confident, and youll be natural “ it wont seem forced or pervy. Be playful and it wont be threatening “ in fact, itll be FUN.
Kick It Up a Notch
Now as you get to know the woman better, youll want to INCREASE your contact and its meaning. This is why you want to lead a woman around by the hand. In fact, you should go ahead and hold her hand whenever you get the chance. In the car, walking around “ you need to set yourself up so hand holding is NATURAL, but once youve done that, you want to USE it.
Listen, it might sound fruity, but hand holding is simply the best way to get her used to and WANTING contact from you. Its the PERFECT lead-up to more.
As you get farther along with your touch, again, youll want to increase the tension. This means more POWERFUL and PRIVATE areas. Like thighs “ inner thighs especially. Breasts “ but not for any sort of extended time until youre well on your way to a nice session.
To begin, you want the contact to be light, fleeting, and NATURAL.
Ok, so now that you know WHAT to do, I want you to think about HOW to do it. To help you along, Ill give you one of my favorite methods.
The Sexy Photo Routine
I call it the Sexy Photo Routine, and it works like this. You start by saying you want a picture together, so hold your arm out at arms length and snap the photo.
You need a digital camera for this, and heres why.
When you check the picture, you gently and playfully mock her “ say something like This just wont do. I can count the hairs in your nose! or something else poking fun at her in the photo.
Move on to taking a photo of her alone. Say you want her to get in a sexy pose. Shell probably give it a go, and then you can snap the photo and say, No, this is no good. You can do better than that.
Now she wants to prove herself sexy for you, but it isnt an overtly sexual thing. Youre subtly suggesting the mood, but there shouldnt be anything threatening about it “ youre still being playful.
Ask her to pose again, but dont snap the photo. Instead, say something like Here, let me help you.
BECOME the fashion photographer. Assume the role (and well talk about role-playing more later, too). Then, POSE HER.
Study her figure. Physically MOVE her legs, her arms, into position. Grab her waist and tilt it. During all this, you can brush up against her breasts in a natural non-threatening way “ youre just going about your photo business.
Snap some more photos. Talk like a photographer “ Yes, great, oh thats sexy, yes“ No! Stop! Ah, thats better. Put on a voice “ make it fruity if you like. Keep this playful.
Pose her some more. Obviously, if youre in public you cant do as much, but if youre in private, you can go much further. In fact, when I do this it usually leads directly to kissing and the bedroom.
Think about it. Youve kept everything light and playful, while at the same time turning up her oxytocin response and getting her horny. Chances are, shell get hot enough that shell give you a signal to go further (dont worry, well talk about signals as well). If she doesnt, you can STILL initiate something by actually asking her if she wants to go further.
Ill talk about that soon, but first
Come up with five other ways to initiate deeper contact in a friendly non-threatening way. Write them down. Test them out. If theyre good, theyll get you to the good stuff. If they dont work, toss them out and try something new.
Regardless, Ive given you PLENTY to chew on here. Take your time. This is the most crucial step in eventually getting to the latter stages“ our favorites.
If you want to learn more about the other nonverbal sexual cues that you can use right now to attract some of the most beautiful women out there, then you’ll want to check out my course Seduction Science 3.0. They’re all nonverbal, and pack quite a punch. It’s also available on CD!
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About MikeStoute Michael Stoute here, and at your service. I am a writer/editor/lover and a fighter. My words are weapons of wisdom so watch out, you may learn something...or better yet, maybe you can teach me something! Have a question? Please try to leave it in the comments, it will get a faster response than an email. Otherwise, Email Me