Wimps into Winners
I love to repost this from time to time. This was THE article that got me into the seduction community. I read this and then photo copied it to all my friends.
Wimps into Winners by Ross Jeffries
There’s a common saying in street fighting that 95% of all real
fights wind up in a clinch and go to the ground. Could that
really be true? Frankly, I don’t know. But I will say this: 95%
of the time, a woman will test you by the second date, or sooner,
to see:
1. If you’ll take her bullshit.
2. How hungry you are for her attention (remember: those who look
hungry, never get fed)
3. Just how much control she can exert over you and/or the
relationship.
In this issue, I’d like to talk about how you can pass those
tests, and how to do some testing of your own. Believe me, this
is important. If you’ve ever been dumped for being “too nice”, or
have been told, time and again, “let’s just be friends”, it’s
because you haven’t learned to recognize when you’re being tested
or just haven’t yet learned how to respond properly. You thought
you would get points for being “co-operative” and “helpful”, and
instead you just got the fuzzy end of the lollipop.
Why She Tests You: The Search for Strength and Certainty
Look: one of the primary things that women are looking for from a
man is security; the feeling that someone is stronger than they
are. When you put a woman in her place, when you set rules and
boundaries for her to follow, it lets her know she can relax
around you and feel comfortable and secure. This search for
strength is the single most important reason why she tests you.
The other factor is ambivalence, or what I call the “make up my
mind for me” syndrome.
You see, the sad reality is that often a woman just isn’t that
interested in you one way or another. Maybe you aren’t exactly
the physical type she goes for, maybe she just got burned in a
bad relationship, or there’s some unseen competitor who she’s
waiting to hear from. What ever her reasons, you can tell this is
happening when you hear something like, “Uh…well, I’d like to
go out with you Friday, but why don’t you call me late Friday
afternoon and I’ll let you know for sure?”
Finally, there is the fact that sometimes, modern women just get
overwhelmed with eighty billion things they are trying to do at
once. And, when overwhelmed, they flake on commitments that occur
during the peak of the overwhelm.
How to Handle It…Dealing from a Position of Strength
To get back to street fighting analogies, there’s a concept from
Jeet Kun Do, the fighting style of the late, great Bruce Lee that
basically says that any weapon thrust your way, as part of an
attack is just a convenient target to be destroyed. Coming from
this perspective, an attack, rather than something to be feared,
is just an unprecedented opportunity to… KICK THE OTHER GUY’S
ASS!!!!
Just so, a woman’s bullshit and tests are great opportunities to
establish respect and dramatically increase her interest in you.
In other words, your response to these tests, instead of being,
“Oh no… why is she doing this? What did I do wrong?” from now on
will be…. AH, HAH! A RESPECT OPPORTUNITY!!!
Look: your attitude has to be that every rude piece of behavior,
every silly test of hers is just an unprecedented opportunity for
you to establish respect, increase her interest, and intensify
her desire to please you. Taken from this perspective, you’ll be
mentally prepared, and may even find yourself actually looking
forward to her trying to pull shit, since you know it’s your
chance to get her really hot for you!!!! Now, before we go on to
some specific scenarios, let me add one other thing: when you do
put her in her place. …
IT’S GOT TO COME FROM THE RIGHT PLACE IN YOU!!!
In other words, the macho idiot who loses control and trashes the
place when his girlfriend comes home ten minutes late is
definitely not the example to follow. All he’s doing is showing
he can’t control himself and he just earns the woman’s contempt.
Notice I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t get a little pissed.
Just don’t go nutso with a stream of obscenities.
(Streams of obscenities are for afterwards, when you are in bed
with her.)
The other thing that doesn’t work is acting like a hurt little
boy. Whining stuff like, “How could you do this to me?”
or, “But you promised!” won’t cut it, good buddy. No. You have to
come from the calm, but firm “take it or leave it” position.
This is all part of displaying the critically important…
WILLINGNESS TO WALK AWAY FROM HER!!!
You see, after years of experience and study, I’ve come to the
conclusion that a woman can only experience real passion for you
if on some level she believes she could do something to lose you!
Understand that when you show this willingness to walk away, in
any area of your life, it conveys the message that you are the
prize to be pursued, that you are the person of value, and they
had better take advantage of the opportunity. This is an attitude
that will move you forward in any area that’s challenging you.
By way of contrast, if you show a non-stop, forever and ever
devotion to her, and put up with her crap and ambivalence, then
where is that tension of knowing she could lose you? Answer:
Nowhere! And that’s why you get nowhere when you put up with this
kind of stuff! If you’ve seen an initially hot relationship grow
ice-cold, this is one big reason!!! Ok. On to some scenarios.
Scenario one: You call to ask her out for the first time.
Her response is ambivalent, something like, “Well, I’d like to
but, why don’t you call me later in the week and….” Here’s your
response: “Let me ask you a question, point blank. Is going out
with me something you can take or leave or is it something that
you’re smart enough that you really want to do that?” Then shut
the hell up and listen for her answer.
Now, what are you doing here? You’re calling her on her
ambivalence and letting her know you don’t have time to be put on
hold. And you’re also suggesting she’s stupid if she doesn’t grab
this opportunity.
Finally, you’re embedding a command (about which much more later
in other issues of this newsletter) that she really does want to
go out with you. Will this work? Very often it does.
It’s not what she’s expecting, and that always gets attention.
Just be as matter of fact and non-hostile as you can.
Understatement works best with this one. What if she still
hesitates? Well, say this one: You: Look. You have my number, and
I’m going to leave it up to you. And you know, if you don’t call
it’s going to be a loss for me, but maybe what you won’t realize
until after you hang up is, that it’ll be a loss for you as well.
Ok? Bye.
Scenario Two: She calls and cancels at the last minute without
offering to do it again at some specific time. (I’ve heard every
excuse in the book, my friend, from “My parakeet is sick” to
“I’ve got to shampoo the rug”. Seriously)
Her: I can’t make it. I’ve got a rare tropical disease that’s
causing me to shrink by the hour.
You: (dead silence for as long as it takes for her to talk again.
Just say NOTHING!!!)
Her: Hello? Are you there? What’s wrong?
You: What’s wrong is I can’t believe the bullshit I’m hearing.
Her: What?????
You: Look…you made a commitment to spend time with me and now
you’re blowing me off. You’re disrespecting me and disrespecting
my time and I’m NOT going to put up with it. My rule is, if
someone makes a commitment to me, I expect them to keep it. If
they can’t keep it, I need to know at least a day in advance so I
can make other plans. Got it? If you can live with that rule,
great…if not, sayonara!
Then, HANG UP!! Now, this may sound extreme, but man does it work
well!!! In fact, she’ll probably call back with five minutes and
apologize and ask you out!!! I’m not kidding here; I’ve seen the
hardest, jaded bitches go to giggly little girls, eager to please
me when I’ve done this. It throws some kind of switch in their
heads. I guess with some people, you don’t really get their
attention until…
You Give Them A Swift Kick In The Ass!!
Please note I’m speaking of an attitude. I am NOT talking about
or in any way suggesting or condoning physical violence with a
woman. In fact, I am against the use or threat of the use of
violence or force against ANY human being, unless there is an
imminent threat of violence against yourself or a loved one. I
can’t make this too clear. I’m talking about using your mind,
NOT your fists.
Scenario Three: You go to pick her up at her place and she either
keeps you waiting outside for more than ten minutes, or lets you
in and then proceeds to talk on the phone for at least that long
while totally ignoring you. Wait for her to finish, and as soon
as she does say something like this:
YOU: Can I ask you a question?
HER: Sure.
YOU: Are you being intentionally rude to test me, or are you just
accidentally acting clueless?
HER: (mouth dropping open in shock, unable to say anything!)
YOU: Don’t ever keep me waiting like this again, ok? I’ll always
treat you respectfully, but I expect the same. Do you understand
me?
HER: Uh…uh…yes.
The point is this: when women throw this stuff your way, you want
to do the unexpected. Don’t put up with it, like a “nice guy” and
don’t lose your temper like a jerk. Walk a middle ground of
strength, self-control AND self-respect, and these tests will
become opportunities to power her straight into your bed.
And that certainly beats a poke in the eye, doesn’t it?
‘Til next time,
Piece and peace,
Ross
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.