Dave M on How to Write an Email
Dave M of Insider Internet Dating seems to have a good grasp on the online scene… although I still think no one can top Michael Stoute when it comes to pulling girls from the internet. His seduction skills work well online… but until he writes a book I suggest checking out Dave M’s stuff. Below he analyzes an email and shows a reader how to write a better one.
How to Write an Online Dating Email by Dave M
Do you ever wish someone could just tell you
exactly what things you SHOULD include in your
emails to women?
Are you STRESSED out about meeting women
Well, YOU’RE NOT ALONE!
In just a second, I’ll share a letter with you from a
subscriber named Rich, who is feeling a bit
overwhelmed himself after some time out of ‘the
As always, I offer some SUPER HELPFUL ADVICE
which could be ‘just what the Doctor ordered’ for
you as well…
…especially if you’re trying to meet women online
quickly and easily.
It’s a perfect example of WHAT NOT TO DO when
emailing women online.
So take five minutes out of your day to READ THIS…
You’ll be glad you did!
— Begin Rich’s Email —
Thanks Dave, I appreciate any feedback I can get.
I’m 27 and have been single now for about 6 months
after a very very long relationship.
Obviously I haven’t dated that many other women
or built a skillset to chat to women reguarly. I’ve
done some research on game, and have started to
get some success in th field. However I would also
like to start getting success through internet dating.
The main problem I have is find things to bust the
girls balls about in emails while still staying playful.
Any ideas would be great
*** The Email He’s Sending Out ***
Below is a typical email I’d send (she spelt it alcahol):
RE: YOUR NEW NICKNAME
Alcohol spelt with two ‘o’ Oh dear! 🙂
Iâ€™ll tell you what,’spellingbee’. Mail me and tell me
three qualities you possess that would make me
want to get to know you better. I will, of course,
send you the same, and another pic if I like what
you have to say.
Any feedback would be greatly appreciated
>>> MY RESPONSE
When I read your question Rich, I read into a
deeper issue than just ‘Hey Dave, what do I say to
I read: ‘Somehow I think I need to try very hard to
get a woman’s attention online but I’m not sure what
clever thing to say.’
And this my friend is what I call faulty logic.
You’re starting from the wrong place, and when
you do so, everything else is going to come out all
You THINK you have to try to get her attention. (I’ll
show you how to fix this problem in just a sec)
If you have done the ‘Recon Profile’ exercise I teach,
you already know that 99% of the guys emailing
women online are trying to do the same exact thing.
They’re *all* trying to impress her.
You need to come off DIFFERENT.
My program, of course includes my entire emailing
system, including the most important things you
need to know, the biggest mistakes to avoid, as well
as VIDEOS of me showing you how to create your
own emails. But I’d like to elaborate on the subject
here for you today…
ABOUT YOUR EMAIL
Rich, unfortunately you’re doing it all wrong. You’re
trying to use something which might work OFFline,
and trying to use it online.
AND IT RARELY WORKS
You don’t have the same ‘tools’ available. i.e. body
language, eye contact, voice, tone… etc.
What You Read Is What You Get.
Online, it’s just words on a screen. Thats ALL she’s
looking at, and when most guys try to use the whole
Cocky Comedy thing online, they end up being TOO
cocky, and they don’t use enough comedy.
No, I’m not kidding…
AND GUESS WHAT?
When she reads that email you just spent 10 min
putting together, it comes off the exact OPPOSITE
way you intended.
Oh, and don’t forget, your email is probably the 30th
she’s gotten that day, so if your email isn’t creating
curiosity AND intrigue, odds are your email is going
to get deleted just like the rest.
HOW WOULD *I* HAVE WRITTEN THIS EMAIL?
Simple. I’d toss it out and start from scratch.
You are NOT trying to impress her, and you aren’t
trying to be confrontational.
She mis-spelled something in her profile right?
We’re going to use that same theme, but in a
different way. We need to change the TONE of this
email because right now its too confrontational.
Subject: You might want to know…
— Begin Email —
I kind of liked your profile, and you sound like
you might be a cool person to get to know better.
You seem like an interesting girl. Tell me more
about… (something she wrote in her profile you
P.S. You might want to know It was your
misspelling of (insert the word) in your profile
that first got my attention.
— End Email —
Let’s recap. Here’s What I did.
The tone of Rich’s email was really in your face,
and too confrontational.
When a woman’s got 20+ OTHER emails each day
coming in like clockwork from other guys who are all
TRYING to impress her, if you’re trying to do the same,
odds are she’s not going to respond.
You need to say the same thing, but in a SPECIFIC
way. You don’t want to hit on her because thats what
every other guy is doing.
You want to come off different.
But first, RULE #1.
RULE #1 states that your email MUST get opened.
It *all* starts from this point.
If your email doesn’t get opened, then that great
email you just spent 15 minutes writing is all for
In this case I’m using a subject line which creates
CURIOSITY. ‘You might want to know…’
The only way to find out is to OPEN THE EMAIL,
and by doing so you’ve accomplished your first goal.
Let’s talk about the body of the email. Do you see
what I did?
I’m being really cool and casual, not hitting on her,
and not saying anything specific. I’m letting her know
that I’m still not quite sure about her.
(as well it should be, I haven’t met her.)
Oh, and here’s the best part…
The ending is where I ‘hid’ the misspelling thing.
And at that point it’s like ending a conversation with
someone, turning your back, and then saying ‘Oh,
by the way…’
Thats what a P.S. does.
And the way I used it in this email, I tied it into
the subject line, so when she’s done reading the
email I’ve closed the loop I started. At the end
of the email is the answer to the ambiguous
comment in the subject.
Hmmmm… something to think about.
Try out this email, take it customize it, write it in your
OWN language, just like the way you speak.
Send some out and let me know how it works out.
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.