Roosh V’s “Most Memorable Pick-up Story”

The fourth in our series of “most memorable pick-ups” comes from blogger Roosh Valizadeh. He’s currently blogging about his trip across South America on his website Rooshv.com. He is also the author of Bang, The average man’s modern guide to getting laid.

“The Giants” by Roosh Valizadeh

It was the worst haircut of my life. I asked for a trim and I got a military cut. This wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t I have a big Turkish face with thick Perisian eyebrows. It was so bad I Googled how to make hair grow faster.

I knew it would take about two months until I looked respectable again, so either I wait until then or suck it up and go out anyway, in my mind looking the worst I ever have in my life. This was a few years ago, before my confidence was fully developed. I sucked it up.

Things are never perfect—either I forget my cologne, my face starts breaking out, or another one of my hampsters suddenly dies on me. Just like there is no perfect moment to approach a girl, the perfect pick-up mood is something most guys will never experience.

A couple days after the haircut I went out with two buddies to a cheesy Washington DC club. We get to the top floor where I noticed four extremely tall women dancing in a circle. None were shorter than six feet. It was loud and I wasn’t feeling that great, but if you see something you like, it’s your duty as a man to go after it. You got to. I walked up the the group of giants and said,

“Hey guys. Me and a buddy of mine are about to throw a party. What do you think of a teacher and schoolgirl theme?”

I wasn’t throwing a party. Looking back I thought this opener was such gold that “exaggerating” was totally worth it. But if at the time you think it’s good, you’ll probably be enthusiastic about its delivery which may be all that matters anyway. The line got me in the group, and I quickly found out they were college volleyball players. My much shorter friends didn’t fare well with them so I was on my own for the rest of the night.

The giant I spent most of my time with gave me a chilly vibe. But then when I was putting her number in my phone she said, “I look forward to your call.” That definitely went above and beyond the typical “talk to you soon” number exchange pleasantry. After a drinks first date, she brought out another giant and with a short wingman we all went to a lounge. I gotta give my wingman credit… he tried to make out with her but the girl couldn’t get over the six inch height differencial.

My giant’s car was at my place so pulling up I used the reliable “How about I make you a peanut butter jelly sandwich?” She came in. She was the tallest woman I’ve ever been with (6’1). I’ve never been back since then because it’s just too much woman. Any time I wanted to change positions I felt like I had to give her instructions because my muscular strength was too puny to move her.

My hair is a foot longer now, and I can barely tell the difference between the attention I got when I thought I looked bad to my current look, which many tell me is bad as well. I can’t reach any other conclusion than hair doesn’t matter. Still, I hope I don’t go bald…

Roosh