Creating Multiple Dates in One Night
I recently got this post from Chase Amante. This is an absolutely essential piece of advice for the guys out there stuck in the dinner or movie dates. This article talks about having more than one “date” in a night.
There was a period of time when I was experimenting with Match.com and this was a huge problem that I kept running into. I was always meeting for coffee or drinks… having some good conversation, then we would say our goodbyes and next time we met I’d have to start from the beginning again.
by Chase Amante
Dinner and a movie. The classic date. And yet – it’s RUBBISH. This articles lays out some alternatives to the dinner date.
And a lot of guys fumble around trying to figure out a good date and fall back on this one, due to lack of planning, lack of creativity, or some assorted grab-bag mix thereof.
Let’s have a chat so you can avoid that trap… and do 1000x better.
Here’s a little secret about how we form memories: Variety is KING. Remember that. Write it down, repeat it twenty-five times, whatever you need to do to make it stick.
Variety is KING.
It’s true about everything in your interactions with women: the more emotions she feels around you, the stronger an impression you’ll make. The more interesting things she learns about you and tells you about herself, the more deeply she’ll feel connected to you.
And the more places she visits and things she does and sees with you, the longer she’ll feel she’s known you.
When you’re putting together a date, you want to pack a bunch of different things in without making it seem rushed, hurried, or disorienting. So there must be a natural progression. Ultimately, you want your girl to come with you on a handful of different adventures, and enjoy several disparate activities.
Why? Because she’ll feel like she’s known you longer and has more shared experiences with you than if you’d just gone to dinner and a movie. So what makes that a good thing?
Because, in general, the longer a woman who is attracted to you has known you, the more inclined she will be to acting on that attraction and go further with you into the bedroom and into relationships.
Human brains are wired to make us cautious of certain things. For women, getting too close to a guy too fast can set off warning alarms. If a woman sleeps with the wrong man, she risks 1) mating with a man they haven’t fully vetted for strength/weakness, 2) being judged as “easy” by both the man in question and their peer group. Both are STRONG disincentives to a woman to getting together too quickly with a guy she’s just met.
But really – it’s less about TIME and more about MEMORIES. Sharing more experiences in a shorter amount of time makes a closer, deeper connection.
Your woman gets to see you in a variety of contexts, how you act and react in a variety of setting, rather than the usual one or two of most dates – as well as giving the two of you a slew of shared experiences that can easily be substituted for spending more time together.
In other words, it’s not the AMOUNT of time you spend together. It’s the QUALITY of it.
So, now you know why it’s a good idea to visit a bunch of places and do a bunch of things while on a date with a girl. Knowing is half the battle. Now you’ve got to take care of the other half of that battle, and *apply* that knowledge.
Could be that you’re an excellent planner. But, if you’re like me,you wait ’til the last minute, then try to throw something
together slapdash and hope it works. What comes in handy in that case is having a set date to go on, or a group of known places you can choose from that you like taking girls to on dates.
The idea of having a “set date” is having a string of different places or activities you take each woman you date to. Ever realize how common it is in romance stories that a man says something along the lines of, “You’re the only woman I’ve ever brought here,”? Well, the idea behind that, and the reason that sentiment seems so romantic, is that on most dates, men take women to the same places they’ve taken scores of other women! It’s actually quite common, for one very good reason: it works. Once you find a set date (things you like doing, places you like going), there’s not much reason to do something completely different next time with the next girl (unless it’s something YOU really want to do!!). (here is an article filled with First Date Tips)
Here are a few examples of date plans I’ve used that led to me being with a few really amazing women:
– Meet at subway station
– Walk to shopping mall
– Window shop – buy books, check out clothing stores
– Grab a bite to eat
– Go outside, take pictures
– Head to Dave & Buster’s to play games
– Back to my place to watch movie and relax
– Meet at Starbucks to get coffee (hot chocolate for me!) and talk
– Get on train, head downtown to comedy show
– After show, head back to my place to check out my travel
– Meet at my place
– Go to liquor store to buy liquor for drinks
– Go to grocery store to buy ingredients for dinner
– Back to my place to mix drinks and cook dinner
– Sit and talk and drink after dinner
Choose what kind of date to have by what your girl seems like she’dbe open to and what you’d like to do. If she seems like she really wants to get together, invite her over to have some dinner and drinks. If she seems like she needs to get to know you a little better first, do something else like meet for coffee or go window shopping so you can build a better connection with her.
And there are so many more places you can go and things you can do. It’s also a lot of fun go with girls to get ice cream; to explore your town or city (especially if you’re new in town – ask her to give you a tour!); to check out the tourist sites; to do something fun and physical (like rock climbing or laser tag). The possibilities are limited only by your imagination!
Really, the only thing you absolutely HAVE to do is have *fun*. You must be enjoying yourself, and she should be too. If you cover that base, and proceed to go on a series of adventures with her, she will quickly feel like she’s known you forever, and you can get your girl a lot sooner than the guys who are still doing “dinner and a movie”.
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.