First Date Survival Guide (day 19)
This is day 19 of our 31 Days to Better Game series here at TSB. The last few lessons have dealt with the phone calls and text messages leading up to the date. Today’s lesson is all about how to handle that first date.
This first date guide was sent in by Roosh V, author of one of my favorite new books Bang. Roosh lays out a good plan for first date success.
How to Go on First Dates by Roosh V
Besides sex, first dates are the most fun part of the game. You have two people who barely know each other alone and isolated with sexual tension and possibility in the air. Here’s a few things to make them more successful.
1. Pick the right day. Don’t try to do a first date on a weekend, especially if you haven’t kissed her yet. Weekend dates send the wrong message that you value her too much, ready to give a “primetime” night to someone you just met. Plus chances are she will be more busy on weekends anyway. Stick to Monday through Thursday for the first date.
2. Pick the right venue. You can get a lot done taking girls to coffee and ice cream dates, but if your goal is to get into her pants as fast as possible, you must go for drinks. Start the date at a quiet bar well after dinner so you don’t have to worry about getting food. Even if the date is short of a blockbuster, it’s very hard not to get at least a make out if she’s had three drinks in her.
3. Preparation. There is no way you can memorize enough routines for a two hour or more date, and even if you can it would be a stupid waste of energy. You’re going to have to be, well, real, and this is where I hope your vibe is fun and interesting. If not then dates will be a challenge. The only thing I do before dates is have two fun routines ready, usually the cube and some type of fake palm read. I also remind myself of a handful of innocent touching moves that prime her for the kiss.
Quick tip: On your way to dates call up a couple friends and shoot the shit for a while. Since first dates are mostly a talking affair, you want that part of your brain ready. The worst thing you can do is lounge around at home all day in front of your computer and then go out without talking beforehand.
4. She’s more nervous than you are. It’s natural to be nervous, especially with the pressure of getting laid hanging over your head. But I guarantee you she is more nervous than you are, simply because she’s a girl and we all know the ones who can’t even go to the bathroom without a friend. The more you have your internal game straightened out and believe a girl should prove her value to you, the less you will be nervous. Think of her on a stage, twirling and spinning for your pleasure. Whether this is reality or not doesn’t matter… just believe it.
5. Show up late. I have a friend who shows up fifteen minutes late and I’m not sure that is extreme or not but I’m always at least five minutes later. You want to stir up some anxiety and fear that she’s being stood up so that her insecurities are driven inward instead of on you, where she judges you and picks for flaws. Even if you arrive early, mill around for a while until you are late. I cannot stress how important this is.
6. Focus on escalation. That’s your number one goal. A touch here or there that gets extended as the night goes on, then touching her hands and putting your arm behind her in the booth of the lounge you picked. The first half hour will have almost no touching probably, but then the drinks get in your system and it becomes natural. While you don’t want to sound like a total idiot on the date, the reason you kiss her will be more because of the touching than the conversation. The kiss will be a foregone conclusion.
7. Go for the lay. Even if you don’t think you will get the lay on the same night, it’s still a smart idea to go for it as you drop her home because it makes your job much easier for the second date. The farther you get on the first date, the less work you have to do on a second. Plus even if the date goes well, you can’t make the assumption there will be a second. How about if her long lost ex boyfriend calls the next day? You’ll kick yourself if you didn’t push as far as you could get.
As you probably noticed, most of the work in turning out a good first date is done before you even show up. A little bit of preparation goes a long way in dates, and it makes sense to do because you worked hard to meet her and get her out and don’t want to blow it with stupid mistakes.
I made A LOT of stupid mistakes when first starting out in the game, but even before that I remember my strategy to getting kisses used to be hoping and wishing she’d make the move and do it on her own. I was too scared I would get rejected and look like an idiot. I sucked it up when I had enough and just started approaching like a machine, going on dates every week and noting what worked and what didn’t.
In took me about six years of constant practice but I figured out the “vibe”, a mindset that keeps your game on without trying to game. This is especially useful on dates when your focused less on routines than when you first approach. I also stumbled on half a dozen touching moves that help escalate on dates and in the bedroom, and also the idea of the multi-venue date system to increase rapport and trust.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.