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25 Random Things About Me by the Octo-Mom


Note: After utilizing one of my sources, I was able to land my first exclusive for TSB Magazine: access to the Facebook account of Nadya Suleman, known in certain circles as the Octo-Mom. While I only had access for a few minutes before her account was shut down, that was enough time to copy-and-paste her list of 25 Random Things about herself, which is below for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

Rules: Once you`ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it`s because I want to know more about you.

Without further adieu, my 25 Random Things! 🙂

1. I really don`t like babies at all.

2. I don`t like ˜em. I love ˜em! You know how they say eight is enough? It`s not. Fourteen isn`t even enough. Maybe somewhere around the mid-40s or so is enough. Then again, maybe it`s not.

3. I`ll finally admit it: I think Angelina Jolie is the greatest actress of not only this generation, but every generation since the beginning of time!

4. With that said, even I didn`t like Changeling.

5. Or Alexander.

6. Or The Bone Collector. More like The Bore Collector! Because it collects bores! Get it?

7. I have seen three penises during my life. The first was my father`s, when he stepped out of the shower at the wrong time. The second was my first husband`s. The third, and best of the three, was Bruce Willis in Striking Distance.

8. My favorite NBA player is Shawn Kemp.

9. My favorite NFL player is Travis Henry. Easily. [

10. I know I`ve been asking for donations on my website, but what I`d really like, more than anything, is a few gallons of coconut oil. I have a few stretch marks I need to get un-stretched.

11. Let me officially put it to rest: There is no truth to the rumor that I have so many kids because I predict the current economic downturn will eventually force people to resort to cannibalism, making these fleshy young ones worth a decent amount of scratch.

12. That said, even though it`s not true, I`d be kinda interested in seeing what kind of money they`d bring in. So if you want to send me a hypothetical quote, just for fun, please contact my lawyer.

13. I don`t always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis. And usually eight at a time.

14. The solution to the Palestinian-Israel conflict is a simple one: Babies for everyone!

15. You know what would have made Hitler less of a grumpy goose? A baby!

16. If a disaster ever befalls America`s dairy industry, the government has designated my bosoms as our country`s source of milk until we get the plants back online. They buy us about six months time.

17. I hope to God this High School Musical fad passes before these latest eight grow up. If I have to watch that motherfucker Zak Efron and that cunt Vanessa Hudgens sing and dance one more time, I`m going to throw Kid #6 out the window.

18. Now`s probably a good time to mention my feelings towards Kid #6: I don`t like him. He`s kind of a prick. However, I love all of the others equally.

19. Oh, except Kid #8. She`s my favorite out of them all. Why? Let`s just say orgasmic childbirth is real.

20. If I wanted, I could push a bowling ball through my cervix without touching the sides. Gentlemen, I`m still single!

21. I really hope Kate picks Sawyer over Jack. That Jack`s such a cry-baby!

22. I`ve said it before and I`ll say it again: It`s time to get rid of the DH in the American League. Bunch of pussy pitchers in that league.

23. I`ll be honest: I`ve never fully grasped the string theory portion of quantum physics. I get the rest of it, but that`s just over my head I guess.

24. When the doctor gave me my first baby to hold, I thought he felt a little squishy, but I knew right from the start I loved him with all of my heart. It wasn`t until later that I found out the doctor gave me the placenta as a practical joke.

25. Currently, if I yell my name into my vagina, it echoes fourteen times!

About Rick Mosely

Rick is the editor for TSB magazine.

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One Comment

  1. Paul Wiesler

    February 18, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    Wow, lol this is terrible. I mean really aside from getting rid of the DH Rule she sounds like someone I would not like to be around.

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