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Practice Uncommon Appreciation

This next article is part of an ongoing series here at TSB Magazine called The Success Principles. The series is based on the 64 principles laid out by Jack Canfield in his course of the same name. If you’re new, I always suggest starting any series from the beginning.

Principle 53:  Practice Uncommon Appreciation

The number one motivator in getting someone to take action towards a desired result is showing them appreciation.

This concept was written about extensively in Dale Carnegie’s classic (and must read) book How to Win Friends and Influence People.  People craze sincere recognition of their unique talents and attributes.

What Carnegie did not write much about is the fact that there are three different kinds of appreciation.  These three kinds include- auditory, visual, and kinesthetic.  Since everyone has a dominant type that they prefer it is important to mix all three of these form of appreciation when applying it to someone.

Auditory people need to hear it.  These are people who need to hear praise like “You did a good job.” or “You look really good today.”

Visual people like to receive something.  They like to receive a letter, card, flowers, pictures- a gift of some sort signifying the appreciation.  These people don’t respond well to simply telling them they did a good job- they need visual proof.

Kinesthetic people need to feel it.  These people need a hug, a handshake, pat on the pat, or giving them a massage, taking them out to dinner, or taking them to a ball game.

if you want to be really successful in dealing with people you need to discover what kind of feedback works best for which kind of people.  You can find this information by asking questions that elicit answers that give clues.

A question Canfield suggests asking is:

Ask them to remember the time they felt most loved.  Then ask them to describe it to you.

When they describe it to you do they describe it in a way that indicated kinesthetic, auditory, or visual was most important to them?

When in doubt, use all three forms of appreciation.

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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences.  For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.

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