Manhandling: How to Take Care of Your Nails and Hands

There’s possibly nothing so physically repugnant to women as a man with long, dirty fingernails. Have a bad haircut. Have a five o’clock shadow. Just don’t have crackhead hands. You don’t want jagged bodily growths crusted with gunk running through your hair, so why would she? Follow these steps to ensure that if you’re getting rejected, it’s because of your lame jokes and faulty political arguments not your disgusting nails.

1) Get your hands so fresh and so clean with a good, long scrub.

2) Brush the underside of your nails with a toothbrush. Just don’t use it on your teeth afterwords!