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The Combustible Milton Bradley

Being a White Sox fan, you should know there’s absolutely no way I’d let this mental boner by Milton Bradley slide:

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Now Bradley has been one of my favorite players for years. Not so much because of his talent; he’s great, but gets injured too often. But instead because whenever Bradley is in the lineup you don’t know if he’s going to hit a home run, get tossed out of the game for arguing with the umpire, or warming up in right field by anally raping a dolphin. Dude’s insane. (He pulled the “crazy” card in The Game of Life, to use some eponymous humor.) Let’s take a look at some of his career highlights:

June 3rd, 2004:

While playing for the Dodgers, Bradley was tossed out of the game after arguing with the home plate umpire. He put down his bat and gloves and walked into the dugout. That’s normal. Coming back out and throwing “about six dozen balls” onto the field is not.

September 28th, 2004:

Bradley continued to show off his arm, this time by taking a bottle that was thrown at him from the bleachers, winding up, and throwing it right back. Bradley was fined, suspended for the rest of the year, and wound up turning in his Dodger Blue uniform for good, as he quickly got traded to the Oakland A’s.

September 23rd, 2007:

Bradley, now with the Padres, gets into a strange argument with first base umpire Mike Winters – Bradley later said Winters was using some kind of racial slur towards him – during which his manager Bud Black had to restrain him with an ill-advised tackle. Unfortunately the tackle tears Bradley’s ACL, knocking him out for the year. Missing Bradley’s potent bat, the team hilariously loses their division lead and miss the playoffs.

June 12th, 2008:

Following a game with the Kansas City Royals, Bradley took it upon himself to confront Royals television announcer Ryan Lefebvre after he heard that the man was saying some bad things about him during a telecast.

And then, of course, the above-mentioned video clip. Here’s to hoping Bradley lasts another ten years in the league. It just wouldn’t be the same without him, by which I mean, it would make way too much sense.

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About Rick Mosely Rick is the editor for TSB magazine.

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