The 7 Biggest Mistakes Men Make When Going For the Kiss
We’ve all been there.
We’ve had a perfectly nice time with a woman. We sensed some sort of connection, but for some strange reason the date has ended and we’ve totally blown it with this kiss.
Going for the kiss with a woman… and how you go about making your move, says more about you than anything that could have come out of your mouth the entire night.
A woman will ALWAYS be reading between the lines as she is out with you. And certain characteristics of a man are revealed by his attempt to kiss her.
What a woman can learn:
Are you the dominant leader type?
Are you shy and timid?
How experienced are you?
How much social intuition do you have?
Do you understand women?
Are you scared of women?
These are just some of the things a woman will learn instantly about you the minute you go for the kiss. Unfortunately most men completely blow it by making one of a variety of common mistakes.
Although it is not impossible to recover from making one of these mistakes. The impression you will leave on a woman will be much more favorable if you avoid them.
Although I would always advise a guy to go for the kiss too soon than too late (she will respect you more) it is often a defeating behavior.
Most women already have a set time table in their mind how long they need to hang out with a guy before they will kiss him. And often times even though a woman has the desire to kiss a man early on in the interaction, she will resist his attempt simply because it wasn’t congruent with the timetable she already established.
Women will establish these time tables to avoid looking like a slut to the man, his friends, or even to herself. So even if you are feeling an incredible urge to kiss her, you must be conscious as to where she is emotionally in the interaction.
As I’ve just mentioned, often a woman will want to kiss a man… but won’t simply because she doesn’t feel it is quite time yet. And often these women will turn their cheek or push a guy away as he goes for the kiss.
Most men retreat like little boys at this point. They get so upset at the rejection that they spend the rest of the night sulking and never bother to attempt to kiss the woman again.
This leaves the woman extremely disappointed. And it also exposes you for a man who is so insecure with himself that he can’t handle the smallest obstacle.
If you truly sense a connection with a woman, and she is sending you the signals… don’t let a small rejection stop you from attempting to kiss her again.
Just the mere act of attempting to kiss her again after a rejection makes you appear dominant, confident, aggressive, and quite different from all the other guys who would have crept away with their tale between their legs.
A woman generally needs to have some anticipation building for the kiss. In fact, I would say that for a woman the build up and anticipation is almost better than the physical act.
And most guys skip this altogether. And this irks women. And sometimes it irks them enough that they won’t kiss a guy simply because he didn’t have the skills to do it right.
The best way to build up to a kiss and let her know that its coming… is to begin touching her more and more. Touching can begin with lightly touching her elbows as you talk to her, putting your hand on her back when you lean in, or holding her hand as you guide her through a room… BUT it needs to begin.
Once you sense that a woman is completely comfortable with you touching her… you can be pretty sure that she is ready to be kissed.
Yes, way too many men feel like they need the woman’s permission to kiss her. Usually these men will wait for a completely inappropriate time and announce to the woman that they “really want to kiss her.”
This is NOT what a woman wants.
Yes, a woman wants to know its coming… but not with words. She wants to know its coming because you’ve started touching her more, or you looking at her a little bit longer, or you’ve slowed down your speech.
When you ask a woman for permission to kiss her your GIVING HER THE POWER. Women, even in today’s day and age, want a man who commands the power.
Another extremely common blunder men make is talking themselves right past the moment. These men are usually the scared, timid, insecure type, who believe their is something “wrong” with kissing a woman. For some reason these guys can’t accept the fact that a woman actually wants to kiss them.
So they keep looking for more proof. And more proof. And more proof.
Until the moment has passed and the woman is walking out the door.
There is a certain moment when both you and the woman can sense it is time for a kiss. Your gut will tell you when that moment has arrived. It will be very clear to the both of you. Once you sense that moment… go for the kiss. If you miss that “moment” a woman will look at you as guy who doesn’t have any “social intelligence” and she’ll probably lose whatever attraction she was feeling toward you.
The guys who make this mistake aren’t not usually as scared or insecure as the guys who “miss the moment.” But these guys have been programmed by “romantic comedies” that there is a perfect time and place for the first kiss.
They often feel like they can’t have the first kiss in a bar, or in public, or in their car. Often these guys believe that the only appropriate time for a first kiss is at the very end of the night.
Their is no perfect time for a first kiss.
You need to kiss a girl the minute you sense that the two of you are sharing a sense of connection and attraction. I’ve had some of my best first kisses in the most inappropriate spots. In fact, the more spontaneous the kiss is, the more the woman will likely view you as a fun, adventurous, and spontaneous guy.
No one is above this one. We’ve all been hanging out with a girl who is being extremely “nice” to us… and in our desperate search for sex… we convince ourselves that she is sexually attracted to us.
And even though the woman isn’t giving us the usual signs like touching us, staring into our eyes, displaying nervousness, or verbally suggesting anything that would lead us to believe she wants us to kiss her… we mistakenly believe “she wouldn’t be so nice if she didn’t like me.”
Yes, she would.
In fact, if a woman is being too nice and polite. And not displaying any nervousness or tenseness… she probably views you as a non threatening guy.
Here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2008/02/05/when-she-wont-kiss-you/
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About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.