The Reasons Asian Men Fail with Women (and what they can do about it)
This is an interview with a man named Ryker. Ryker recently brought together 13 of the top Asian dating coaches in the world to help solve the problem many Asian men face in regards to meeting women. You can learn more about his program here.
What are the biggest mistakes Asian Men make while talking to women?
One of the biggest problems that Asian men face when talking to women is they pre-assume right from the start that women will reject them because they are Asian.
Many Asian guys point to the research in the popular book, Freakonomics – where seemingly scientific research showed that the average Asian guy had to make at least $200,000 more in order to be as attractive as an average white guy – as evidence that women in general do not like Asian guys.
Right from the start, they cannot even imagine why women will find them attractive and the end result is that their self-esteem is low, and women sense that immediately.
Often they look at other guys of other races, some of whom are taller, bigger, more muscular around them and they immediately assume that because they are perhaps shorter and not as buff, women will not even give them a chance.
Unfortunately, the media and mainstream movie industry has relentlessly churned out characters that repeatedly re-enforce the dreaded, weak Asian male stereotype, and most Asian guys have been brainwashed to take on that negative identity.
As a result of being programmed from a young age with many of these unhealthy beliefs, many Asian guys subconsciously sabotage themselves by neglecting their fashion sense, adopting weak body language and staying stoic and silent in social interactions.
Finally, many Asian guys are extremely smart and the sad thing is they spend too much time in their heads – over-thinking and over-analyzing things.
Often that means they simply fail to seize the golden opportunity to escalate the interaction in the moment when it is obvious that the woman likes them and the window of opportunity slams shut and they wind up having to walk home, alone once again.
And each lack of result further re-enforces the limiting beliefs they already have and it results in a damaging vicious cycle that further hurts their self-image and self-confidence.
What are some of the unique challenges Asian Men face in regards to meeting women?
Some of the unique challenges that Asian guys face is firstly that they don’t believe it’s possible for them to be successful with women as an Asian male.
When they turn on the TV, or watch a movie – they see very negative portrayals of Asian men, largely as geeky, nerdy, asexual guys who are often cast as the laughing stock or kung-fu fighters who spend the whole movie mouthing badly-accented English and doing martial arts.
There are very few positive role-models for Asian men to look up to and it raises the question if its even possible for an Asian guy to be confident and attractive.
About Bobby Rio I'm Bobby Rio, one of the founders of TSB. I tend to write about what is on my mind so you'll find a mix of self development, social dynamics and dating articles/experiences. For a collection of some of my favorite articles check them out.