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The Gentle Art of Crafting a Seductive Playlist

How To Set The Mood With Music

Nietzsche once wrote, “In music the passions enjoy themselves.” Although, he was writing in an era that predated iTunes—so to amend that quote for our digital music world, “In playlists the passions enjoy each other.” In other words, if you craft a seductive playlist, you craft the perfect catalyst for turning the mood on, and taking the clothes off.

I once thought all playlists were created equal, blasting mix tapes of Led Zeppelin and Dr. Dre in my dad’s borrowed convertible as I tried to disrobe squeamish girlfriends back in my high school days. Later, during my college years, I got hooked on the old “playlist shuffle,” leaving it to the algorithms of Apple to dictate the sonic ambiance.

Never did I really consider the importance of a good playlist until I was having coffee with an offended friend, gripping over a dude who thought a medley of early Metallica albums was an appropriate “mood-setter” for consummating their romance.

“I knew I wasn’t going to sleep with him when that song ‘Bastard of Puppets’ came on,” she shrieked.

“You mean, ‘Master of Puppets,’” I corrected her. “That song rocks! I love the guitar solo—”

“NO!” she screamed, “I’m a GIRL! I don’t want to hear Metallica when I’m getting ready to sleep with a guy for the first time! Girls want romance DAMN IT!”

“So what would’ve been better? If he’d played a little Timberlake?”

“Not that either!” she screeched, “A guy should just KNOW what songs turn a girl on! And if he doesn’t, it probably means he sucks at more than just picking music!”

“So you’re implying he probably sucks in bed?”

“If I have to explain it, you probably don’t get it either,” she said, then reached across the table for my iPod. “Here, let me see your ‘Moodlist.’”

“My what?”

“Your Moodlist, you know—the music you play when you want to get a girl ‘in the mood.’”

The blank stare I shot across the table matched the blank space in my iPod where my ‘Moodlist’ should’ve been. While I

Setting the right playlist will help

Setting the right playlist will help

may have had better sense than to think “Kill Em All” was a panty-dropping musical ensemble, I’d never actually sat down to construct a “Moodlist” as my frustrated lady friend deemed a necessity of a smooth seduction.

So, now I turn the question on you: does your iPod have a ‘Moodlist’?

Whether you do or you don’t, I spent over a year mixing and matching the various elements of a mood-setting, sex-inspired playlist. While you can fit the songs to fit your personal taste and style, the overall principles translate to any genre, any girl, in any seductive situation.

So without further foreplay, here are the secrets of the gentle art of crafting a ‘moodlist.’

Start with a subdued upbeat party song(s)—You don’t want to make it completely obvious you’re putting on a playlist to “get her in the mood” or else you’ll crash and burn before you even get off the ground. Therefore, pick an upbeat song with a bouncy, fun vibe—but make sure it also has a little “weight” to it as well (read: not a “club jam”).

From my iPod: My super-secret, super-awesome opening song is a Gabriel and Dresden remix of The Killer’s “Read My Mind”.

Transition over to some ‘unknown’ slower songs—Once you have a fun vibe set, you then want to let the mood develop slowly. Therefore, using slow songs she probably knows will NOT work because, again, it’ll make it offensively obvious you’re trying to get her in the mood—which is a mood-killer. So to move things forward with minimal friction, pick songs she won’t recognize (so she won’t have preconceived notions about them), yet start setting a more romantic tenor.

From my iPod: I love using foreign music since it ensures she’s never heard of it, so my second pick a French pop song called “Dans la Lune” by Zazie.

Lightly introduce “the night’s theme” with an old-school slow jam—Now that she’s feeling relaxed, bust out a song you know she loves, but hasn’t heard in a while. This song absolutely should have a slow tempo (especially so that you can take her hand and awkwardly slow dance with her as it plays).

From my iPod: My go-to song is the mid-90s classic “Killing Me Softly” cover by The Fugees.

Play a satirically obvious song about hooking up—At this point, you’re 25-30 minutes into “private time” with your lady, seductive music buzzing in the background. Now’s the time to man up and put the moves on—and you better go big or go home. Since she’s relaxed, you should make your intentions felt. So play a song or two that injects awkward tension so she has to decide: it’s going down or she’s going home. That may sound harsh, but if a girl with you for 30 minutes, alone, at you place, it only means 2 things: she wants you to make a move, or you’re so far in the friend zone that the thought you two having sex is not even crossing her mind. Either way, it’s time to throw YOUR cards on the table…

From my iPod: The song “On Bended Knee” by Boys2Men is so awful and awkward, the ONLY reason it’d be on a playlist is for non-listening purposes (read: to make a statement…and you know what that statement is).

The grind-time music—Now you should be getting down to business, so play songs with an upbeat tempo that have strong sexual undertones. (Also, keep in mind, if you pussied out of making a move and these songs come on, you’re going to feel super weird…so make a move DAMN IT!)

From my iPod: “Such Great Heights” by the Postal Service is perfect for this most awesome moment with a woman.

A Non-Ironic Encore—Since you knew all along what was going down, why not proclaim it with a non-ironic encore. Any song with a chorus that outright contains some variation of the phrase “We’re fucking tonight” is perfect.

From my iPod: My obvious pick is “#!*@ You Tonight” by Biggie. (But “I Want to Fuck You” by Akon is a close second!

The Afterglow—Finally have a few of your favorite “romantic” songs for the afterglow moment.

From my iPod: Anything by The Cure, especially “Pictures of You” and “Letters to Elise”

>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.

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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.

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