The Art of Recovering from Drunken Make Outs
I’ll be honest, I enjoy the occasional blackout. I mean I try not to make a regular habit of it, but when it happens it happens.
I’m all about having fun stories to tell to my kids so that way they will be inspired to be awesome when they get to college. If in the event I don’t remember a few of them, well that’s just a risk I’ll take.
So after I wake up in bed after a blackout and sit upright thinking, “Oh my God! How did I get here,” I’ll begin to reconstruct that elephant memory of mine. That always starts by searching my pockets for any receipts to give me clues as to what I was drinking.
From there I’ll usually head to the cell phone. Granted that it’s not dead, it will usually give me some hints as to who I was drunkenly trying to hook up with. At some point I’ll send a text message to a friend along the lines of “What happened last night?” That’s followed up by a deluge of texts recapping the shenanigans I was up to.
For the most part they are pretty funny stories that I can laugh at. There are some parts though that I wish happened differently.
More times than not, those things I wish to change entail a sloppy make-out with someone I know.
When I’m blacked out, I somehow always end up making out with next drunkest person in the room. A friend of mine thinks that at that stage I’m speaking a language that only someone heavily inebriated has the ability to understand.
Either way, I would have rather not made out with that girl. If it was someone I didn’t know, then fine. Someone I do know and will be seeing on a regular basis? Well, there are going to be some awkward situations that arise.
Some guys will try to shake it off saying that it doesn’t bother them in the least. That’s a bunch of bullshit.
Everyone in that position gets super nervous the next few times they see the person they made out with. Don’t lie, you definitely considered — and probably have for that matter — crossed the street to avoid walking past a drunken make-out partner.
In situations like these I’m all for nipping the bud as early as possible; it’s time for damage control.
I’m from the school of thought that it’s better to confront the situation head-on and have a really awkward moment initially instead of having tons of awkwardness simmer for the next month.
If I have the girl’s phone number I’ll usually shoot a quick text, “Hey, I had a fun time hanging out with you. Have a great weekend.” Obviously this is an unorthodox way to go about things. It is, however, a simple and quick way to get ahead of things before they get out of hand.
It’s not saying that you want to continue and make something out of what happened last night — all you’re doing is acknowledging what happened. And that’s really all you have to do. You both in some respect acknowledge what happened so that way it’s not always sitting in the back of your mind.
Another method is the next time you see the girl just stop and say what’s up. Mention something in passing about how that night was crazy. Nothing more. Maybe make a joke, but nothing overly sarcastic.
If you do it correctly, then people won’t get so annoyed by your blackouts. And well, for those of us who are fans of them, might as well keep the damage that are caused by blackouts to a minimum.
About Mustafa Shaikh Mustafa Shaikh is an aspiring writer living in Berkeley, CA. Not willing to give up his college days just yet, he lives only a few blocks away from his beloved campus. He hopes to write a best-seller within the next couple of years and live off the royalties of it for as long as possible.