How To Flirt With Women, Part 3
“… I find myself in the torturous contradictory situation that I need an obstacle between my will and my goal. The more effective the obstacle is, the more overwhelming my desire becomes – provided the goal is in sight.”
— Maria Marcus, A Taste For Pain
When you put up a barrier between a woman and something she wants, her desire for it increases a hundredfold. When done in a flirtatious context it sexualizes her desire.
To give you an example, a while back I chatted up this 22-year-old brunette. She was obviously into me: each joke I made – even the ones that should make only retarded children laugh – hurled her into a paroxysm of giggles and compelled her to fondle me like a crystal ball.
So I told her, “The Aquarium of the Pacific has a new sea otter exhibit and I’m going next week.” (Later I learned that BP funded the exhibit. But that’s a story for another time.)
She exclaimed, “I love sea otters,” and then begged, “I wanna go. I wanna go. Take me. Take me. Please!!”
I teased, “I was gonna take you but you had to act all needy about going. So that’s just not happening anymore.”
She socked me on the arm and whined, “That’s no fair. You’re such a meany. I wanna go so bad.”
Let’s break down what I did: She obviously wanted to go to the aquarium and hang out with me. So I created a false barrier.
The result: her desire to go to the aquarium and hang out with me burgeoned like a malignant tumor on a mission to take over a hapless person’s body. But there’s a more subtle and powerful aspect to creating false barriers…
I discovered it at age six while driving to Palm Springs with my grandparents. From the backseat vantage point I witnessed my gluttonous grandma reach her hand into a box of See’s Candy, grab a hold of a piece of chocolate, stuff it into her mouth, and move her jaw around and around like a cow chewing on its cud. After repeating the process ad nauseum, she asked me if I’d like a piece and I said, “No thank you.” (Chocolate has never been my thing.)
She responded with, “Good … because I wasn’t gonna give you any.”
All of the sudden I wanted a piece of chocolate. Her taking that option of having a piece away from me made the chocolate desirable. The moral of the story: you can start with something a person has no interest in, create a barrier from her getting it, and – viola – she’ll desire it.
The most powerful application of this principle is when you use a barrier to turn yourself into the object of a woman’s desire. More times than I can count, I’ve used this to transform myself in a matter of seconds from the bane of a woman’s nightclub experience into her knight and shining armor. Here’s why:
Women like to think of themselves as attractive and desirable. For most women to maintain this self-image they need validation from men. In other words, even if they aren’t attracted to you, they want you to want them. That’s why droves of happily married women go out on the town with their girlfriends and revel in men hitting on them – it validates that they’re still desirable.
I remember the first time I used this. A friend and I were at a small pub on Saint Patrick’s Day. As we were chatting with a girl, I noticed two ice-princesses roll their eyes at us. Then the blonde one said to the other, “Why is Suzy talking to those ugly losers?” (No ifs, ands, or buts about it, she was referring to us.)
Next, the blonde marched over to us and gave her friend the directive, “We need to leave.”
I looked her directly in the eyes and delivered a cool and collected, “You’re very pretty.”
She hissed, “You’re a real charmer,” and tried to frown. But her frown was struggling against the pull of her rising cheeks and narrowing eyes. Her forced I’m-a-bitch façade was giving way to a genuine smile that said loud and clear, “I’m so happy you think I’m desirable.”
Then I continued with, “But too bad you’re a bottle blonde. Bottle blondes aren’t my type. I like my girls natural.”
Her genuine smile gave way to a genuine frown. Then she started grinding against me and said, “You know I’m hot. You know I turn you on.”
I leaned back against the bar and said, “You are hot. You just don’t sexually do anything for me.”
She quarreled, “No guy in his right mind would turn me down. You must be gay.”
So I gave her a sarcastic, “If that would make you feel better about yourself, you can think I’m gay.”
She protested, “No you’re not and you want me,” and then planted her lippers on mine.
To spare you the needless details, we played tonsil hockey for the rest of the night. Although she found me less appealing than the whiff of ass and foot combined, I became the object of her sexual desire by creating a barrier. The bedrock for applying the three essential features of flirting is using a powerful seduction technology called “Push-Pull.”
Push-Pull is the art of emotionally Pushing a woman away from you and then emotionally Pulling her back in. Each Push creates an emotional space for each Pull.
To get a sense of where I’m going with all this, think, for example, of your favorite junk food. Imagine going on a strict diet for several weeks that prohibits you from eating your favorite food. What would it feel like to finally give in to your urge and indulge after weeks of dieting?
I’m willing to bet it would taste a thousand times yummier after dieting than before.
Push-Pull is the fastest way to spark sexual tension. Each time you push her away, it sparks tension…
… and each time you pull her in, it releases that tension.
The process of sparking and then releasing tension in a woman creates attraction.
Inside my book Real World Seduction 2.0 you’ll master the ins-and-outs of push-pull giving you the power flirt with and generate attraction in the women of your dreams at will.
But that’s just part of what you’ll inside my book. You’ll get an A-Z black belt education on succeeding with women taking you from the approach to the bedroom and beyond.
Click here to download Real World Seduction 2.0.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
We respect your email privacy
About Josh Lubens Swinggcat, author of Real World Seduction, is a professional dating coach and pick up artist. He has created and popularized numerous attraction techniques, such as, Prizing, Push-Push, Meta-Frames and Sexual Frames. His system advocates sexually escalating with and gaining sexual compliance from women within the first few minutes of meeting them. Check out Real World Seduction.