What Will You Be Thankful For? Dating Resolutions Are Coming Early This Year
The stretch of weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas are the grimmest for the lonely man. I know firsthand how cold and bleak it can be: only someone who lived through the hurt of being alone during that time could appreciate the double entendre of the phrase “Holiday Season” as it implies a sprinkle of salt on an open wound.
We lonely souls don’t want to feel Grinch-like, but it’s hard to be happy when the gifts, the cozy fire, the midnight kiss, the coupled rejoicing are all reminders of our singleness. If you’re feeling that, I feel you. Though, rather than wallow in pity, I challenge you to use your pain as a call-to-action.
It you’re feeling the sting of the Holiday Season, you’re fortunate enough to have motivation at your disposal. Understand: most people regard pain as discomfort they want to alleviate; however, pain is just your body telling you something needs to change. In fact, it’s often only when you feel pain that things in your life can change.
In other words, pain is nature’s way of saying, “Step the fuck up.”
So examine your pain. Use it to your advantage. Realize that pain invites a binary decision only you can make: step up or hurt more. Unfortunately, most guys try to weasel in a third decision: do nothing and numb the pain. They numb the pain with porn, video games, television, booze, drugs, their job, or any other distraction that keeps their mind off the hurt.
Ironically, however, they’re only amplifying their pain. Like karma or credit card debt, their pain accrues as they’re busy distracting themselves from it. Until one dark day they realize that their old and lonely and pathetic and they’ve been deluding themselves for all these years.
And all because they wanted a third choice when there’s only two options: step up or hurt more.
If you’re still reading, you’ve stepped up. People who want to ignore pain have stopped reading by now. So, for that, I commend you. But stepping up is only the beginning. Now you need a goal. Do you want a girlfriend? Two girlfriends? A team of girlfriends? Make a concrete goal.
Now that you know what you want, use your pain to drive you. I know when I first resolved to improve my dating life, I let nothing stop me. I ignored the snickers from my non-supportive friends, the rejections for non-receptive ladies, and the taunts from the non-awesome voices in my head. All I knew was the pain: I didn’t want to keep feeling like this. So I kept at it…
…and kept at it…
…and kept at it. And guess what: by Christmas time, I was dating 4 amazing girls. While that grim stretch between Thanksgiving and Christmas was brutal and painful and harsh, I eventually hit pay-dirt. Nothing I did was particularly impressive or great, other than my goal and my drive to realize that goal.
And the only secret of my drive was my pain. I chose not to ignore my pain or numb it. Instead I let the hurt do its job: motivate me to action. I let it motivate me to painless happiness (and hot babes).
Some may argue this article isn’t chic for November. Most of the self-help and personal development crowd are saving their call-to-action article for New Years, when the rest of the world makes their resolutions.
’Tis the season to make a resolution to get your dating life handled. You have ample time to achieve your goal. Don’t ignore or numb the pain that the coming holidays bring—instead use it to your advantage. Resolve to have a girl to cuddle with in front of the fire on Christmas Eve. Someone to exchange presents with Christmas morning. And someone to kiss at midnight on New Year’s eve.
And, when the rest of the world is scrambling to make their resolutions New Year’s morning, sleep in (with your girlfriend) content knowing that you already achieved yours.
>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.
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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.