How to Tell Your Ex Girlfriend You Have an STD
Breaking up is hard to do. Whether you dumped her or she dumped you, splitting with your girlfriend sucks. After the “It’s not you, it’s me talk,” there’s the heartache, the returning of personal possessions that you left at each other’s apartments and the pain and anger to sift through.
Want to take the anguish up another notch? Consider learning that you have an STD after your breakup. You may or may not have contracted it from your ex, but the manly and honorable thing to do is fess up that you have it and tell her to go get tested.
Whether it’s a disease that is easily treatable or one that you will have for the rest of your life, telling your former partner is critical if you want to break the chain of infection. If you feel comfortable enough telling your former flame that you might have given her a STD, then by all means go ahead. You can either phone her or write her an email or even do it face to face. But if you don’t want to tell her yourself, you still have to break the news to her somehow.
One way you can let your ex know that she needs to get tests is through your local health department. If you have been tested and the results are positive, give your doctor a list of all of the women you have been with intimately for the last year. The health clinic will then probably offer to notify your ex but keep your name anonymous. If your health department doesn’t offer this service, you can ask for it.
Another way to drop the bomb is through an anonymous email. inSPOT, a website run by the nonprofit Internet Sexuality Information Services, allows people in eight major U.S. cities (Chicago; Los Angeles; New York; Philadelphia; Portland; Oregon; Seattle and Washington, D.C.) and eight states (California, Colorado, Florida, Idaho, Indiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, and Wisconsin) to send alerts to sex partners of a potential STD diagnosis and encourage them to go get tested. The cards come in three different languages, including English, French and Spanish.
You can now soften the blow by sending your ex a STD e-card. Try including a light hearted statement in the card, such as “It’s like Christmas every day because you now have the gift that keeps on giving” or a video of little dancing happy crabs.
The emails can be sent to six partners at once, so even if you were playing the field during your relationship, inSPOT has got you covered.
So there isn’t any reason now why you shouldn’t man up and tell her that she could have an STD. Sure, she might have been a giant bitch in the relationship, but you owe it to yourself and to her to be honest.
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About Stephanie Weaver Stephanie is a full time freelance writer from Philly. In her spare time, she enjoys playing roller derby and spending time with her English bulldog, Brit.