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Don’t Confuse Machismo With Confidence

Picture this: You’re minding your own business, driving down the road, listening to some old Boyz II Men song on the radio (hey, we all have our guilty pleasures.) Out of nowhere some asshole cuts you off, no blinker, damn near causing you to swerve off the road. You then end up at the same movie theater, sitting next to this douchebag, who’s rocking a backward baseball cap Fred Durst style and sporting a “don’t front” expression the whole time.

Watch your machismo

If you feel the need to act like a raging macho stereotype to make up for your poor self-image, there’s a problem. I was going to write an expose on Seal and Heidi Klum, but this brodude reminded me of how many guys there are out there compensating for a lack of confidence by upping the bravado, strutting around with an overinflated ego to mask a lack of social skills, originality, etc.

As it so happened, I was out with three women. No, I’m not a mac daddy; it was my girlfriend and two sisters. All three of them agreed that this cocksure stranger looked like an idiot, that his “badass” demeanor was a huge turnoff. And there were more than a few “ughs” and dirty looks when this unknown buffoon shouted at what appeared to be his girlfriend.

There’s a big difference between being a confident man and being an overconfident man-boy. Real men don’t have to reinforce their machismo left and right in fear of potentially revealing their actual lack of manhood.  A man comfortable in his skin, one who knows who he is, doesn’t worry about impressing those around him. A real man doesn’t cut off strangers and berate his girlfriend to prove he’s got balls.

People respect men who radiate confidence, not those who fake it by emulating some uber-malestereo type. There’s a reason people think the badass video game character Duke Nukem is funny. He’s a caricature, an over-the-top representation of macho idiocy, not something to aspire to.

If you find yourself putting on airs to impress your friends, acting like your Don freaking Draper around women or doing anything Fred Durst does, check your ego at the door. You won’t build your confidence by stifling it with macho posturing.  Your friends won’t respect you, women won’t want you and you’ll just look like an idiot overall. Be confident in your own skin and treat people with respect and you’ll be the guy everyone looks up to or wants to be with. Confidence is great, but too much of it sends a clear message to others: that you’re not confident at all.

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About John Brhel John Brhel is a freelance writer from upstate New York that enjoys picking apart life's idiosyncrasies and listening to Huey Lewis & the News.

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