The Day I Decided To Take Control Of My Dating Life
We all have our D-Days. Or our Bastille Days. Or whatever name you give to the day you stopped acting clueless around women.
Probably, if you’re reading this article, you’ve had that day already.
Maybe it was out of necessity: you’re sick of being lonely and want women in your life …
… maybe it was out of heartache: you broke up with your girlfriend and wanted the pain to stop …
… maybe it was even out of perfectionism: you’ve always been decent with women but you wanted to take it to another level.
Whatever your reason, you’re here now, reading these words, so you’ve decided to take control. And that’s awesome.
Why is that so awesome?
Because it’s masculine.
I’ve bit my tongue when people tell me how much they love ideas like “The Secret” or other passive approaches that claim: don’t alter your lifestyle at all … just alter your energy and things will come to you.
Well, it’s been my experience that life doesn’t work like that. Either you have it, or you go out and get it. But no one’s perfect life magically appears to them.
As obvious as this may sound, the way most people live their lives contradicts this simple principle. Most men go about their day-to-day existence letting their lives control them.
We all were this way until we found out that we could change, which was the day we stopped acting clueless around women.
Although, it’s always good to recall that day again and assess whether or not you’re still living by that idea. Are you actively making strides toward your goals? Are you taking action? Are you putting that first foot forward in the morning and taking what you want?
Or have you begun to rest on your laurels?
Sink back toward mediocrity?
The “passive approach” to our goals is an insidious approach. It rots us from the inside out. It begins when we say, “I’ll begin tomorrow” or “I’m too tired to do that now” and ends with a life we’re not excited to be living.
The reason I love writing for TSB and surrounding myself with people like Bobby Rio and crew is that these people are all active. They’re masculine. They see what they want, and they take action.
They don’t sit around at the loser bar, swapping their “I coulda been a contenda” stories and weeping into their pint of watered-down beer.
Writing this article, I wasn’t completely sure what direction I wanted to take this idea of “liberating yourself” by choosing to take charge of your dating life.
But it appears we’re in familiar territory: me inviting you to step the fuck up. If you’ve read any of my articles you probably know I have absolutely no patience for the whiney sob stories of passive guys who refuse to take control of their lives.
Excuses are no good here.
The fact is this: you were drawn to the idea of dating advice because the beauty of self-reliance resonates with you; don’t contradict that part of you by buying into the hype and hoopla of the masses who actually believe that you can get what you want without working for it.
Everything you’ll ever earn in life you will pay for by the sweat from your brow. There’s no free lunches. There’s no hand outs. There’s no freebies. If it has value to you, be ready to work for it.
Accept that premise (perhaps for a second time) and you’re well on your way (or back on your way) to liberating yourself. Today is the day you became even LESS clueless around women.
>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.
About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.