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When She Doesn’t Want to Give Head

It’s unfortunately common for women not to enjoy giving head. Here’s how to get what you both want in bed.

When to bring it up with her

If you’ve noticed she avoids giving head, the next time you’re getting intimate is not the right time to discuss it. It will kill the mood. It’s an uncomfortable topic and there’s never going to be a perfect time to ask her why she won’t give you a blowjob, but if you don’t bring it up sometime then you’ll lose out. Try to find a moment when you’re both feeling really comfortable with each other, such as after sex. But if you ask her why, be prepared for an answer which might offend you, if the issue lies with your personal hygiene.

It could be you

You may think you know your penis well, but unless you’re extremely flexible you haven’t smelt it up close. If you’re lacking in personal hygiene, then it’s totally understandable that she doesn’t want to put her face near your junk, let alone put it in her mouth.

Blowjobs!

The solution to this is easy: shower more. You could try showering with her as part of foreplay. If she ventures downstairs, then you can be sure she didn’t want to give you head on previous occasions because your personal hygiene is less than adequate.

Other common reasons why women hate giving head: excessive pubes which go into her mouth, or tasting like urine. Both of these issues can be remedied by a little more care on your part.

Are you both getting something out of it?

Perhaps she feels like she’s not getting anything out of giving you head. Sex is a two-way exchange and if she thinks she’s not getting anything out of it, she won’t be keen. She could be totally indifferent to giving head- it’s just not a turn-on for her, so she sees no reason to do it. In this situation, if you want head, you have to give head as well. Suggest 69ing so you can both be pleasured at once.

Past bad experiences

If she’s confided in you that she’s had a previous experience which has put her off the idea of giving head, there’s not much you can do except be gentle with her. Be encouraging if she does venture south of the border, but you can’t force her to do it or she’ll get upset.

Don’t try to push her into it

She doesn’t want to give you a blowjob, you know it, and she knows you know it. So she’s going to get annoyed if you try to make her do it anyway. Being annoyed is a real mood-killer- if she’s pissed off with you, she’s not going to want to rip your clothes off. If you try to coerce her into giving head, the first time she might avoid making an issue of it. She won’t comply, but she won’t jump out of bed. After that, you’re pushing it. Better to have sex without getting head than no sex at all.

When she doesn’t have a reason

Perhaps she is just selfish. It’s not fair for her to only take and not give. It’s fine for a woman to not give head if she doesn’t want to, but if she’s leaving all the work up to you and not pulling her weight in the bedroom at all, that’s a different problem entirely.

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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/

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