When She Won’t Stop Calling
When a girl you’ve started seeing makes an effort to contact you, that’s fantastic. But when she’s calling you multiple times a day and sending you text updates about her day every five minutes, there’s a problem.
It gets annoying when you’re bombarded by constant phone calls from her. You may be into her, but you can do without knowing every detail of her day-to-day life.
If you pick up your phone the second it rings, every time, she has no way of knowing you have a problem with her calling all the time. When you notice she starts getting too dial-happy, accidentally miss a few calls. Don’t reply to every message she sends. Especially if you’re not entirely sure about her, you don’t want her to think you are just as keen as she is.
Stem her calls by telling her when you will call her. For example, sometimes when she calls, don’t pick up. Instead, message her saying that you’re busy and will call her back in several hours. The first few times you do this, specify a time. She might be watching the clock waiting for you to follow through on the call, but hopefully she won’t harass you in the meantime.
If she still doesn’t get the idea and keeps ringing you, try making her feel awkward about having called. Nearly as soon as the conversation starts, ask her what she’s calling for. Unless she has a specific reason – and if she’s constantly ringing you, surely she can’t have a reason all the time – she’ll say something like “I just wanted to talk to you”. You can then act confused and reply, “You just talked to me an hour ago, last time you called! Come on, what are you really calling for?”, which will make her feel unsure about calling out of the blue again. If you have plans to see her, you can also use the excuse that if you talk too much now, you won’t have anything to talk about later when you meet up. If you do this a few times, she’ll soon get the idea that you don’t want to be on speed-dial for her mundane chats.
Humor solves many problems, but not this one. If you answer the phone by saying “you again!” or casually mention that her fingers must be sore from all that texting, she’ll think you are pleased to hear from her millions of times a day. The idea is to wean her off constant contact so she hardly even notices. You want to avoid drawing attention to it, and you especially don’t want to give her the idea that you like it.
You should exhaust every other avenue before you resort to telling her that you have a problem with her full-on contact. She’s clearly very invested in being with you, and might freak out if you tell her there’s a problem. The kind of girl that will text you every minute is probably on the obsessive side of normal, so she will overreact to you telling her to tone down the phone calls. She will probably interpret it to mean that you’re not interested in her, even though you are. If you raise it as an issue, you can expect hurt feelings with a strong possibility of even more calls and messages- except this time, she’ll be more angry and abusive than sweet. However, if she’s not getting the message any other way, you have no choice but voice your concerns.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/