Stop Pretending You’re the Guy and Be the Guy Already
We’ve all been there: You see some dude who has everything you want and embodies the characteristics you only wish you had. He’s confident, cool, has a sweet job, cute girlfriend, abs, Heisman trophies, the whole shebang. You get envious, thinking to yourself “If only I could be like that. If only I could really act confident and succeed.”
By seeing yourself as less than, you’re only setting yourself up for disappointment. By thinking you’re unable to succeed or be “the guy,” you’re holding yourself back from that very possibility. You’re the very defintion of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I used to feel like a have-not, like I was less than others. Whether it was feeling like a mediocre player back in high school lacrosse or feeling like an outsider in college, I was the one holding myself back from success and achieving the things I wanted to achieve. I held myself back from building friendships, approaching women, really going for it.
Envy can lead to bad and it can lead to good. You can get envious of others and feel sorry for yourself or you can get envious of others and work to achieve the same things they’ve achieved. By believing in yourself and just being the guy you wish you were, you’ll do that that: be the guy.
Hey, I understand how hard it can be to tell yourself you’re just as cool and worthy of success as the next guy. As recent as a few weeks ago, I felt those same old high school/college day feelings of inferiority. I got hired to do work for an ad agency I’ve been dying to work for. After submitting my work, I worried about whether or not it stacked up to the stuff these guys have been doing.
Of course, my fears were totally unfounded. These guys I totally thought were on their game, told me my work was really good. Getting that kind of feedback totally reminded me that 1) I have skills and 2) there’s no point in getting worked up about being “less than.” As it turned out, I was on the same level as these guys I looked up to.
You don’t need validation, however, to feel like somebody of worth. It really just comes from within. Before anybody else believes in you, you’ve got believe in yourself. You’ve got to be the guy you want to be.
In fact, the only thing separating you from “the guy” is your perspective. Sure, sitting on your ass all day and doing nothing with your life might not make you feel like freaking Jay-Z. But if you’re giving your all and putting yourself out there, there’s no reason why you can’t blast “Big Pimpin’” and feel like the goddamn guy.
By approaching life with a can-do state of mind, you’re actually more likely to achieve the things you want to achieve. By thinking you’ve got it, you’ll do things that make you “it.” You can even play Kenny G if Jay-Z isn’t your thing. Whatever works for ya.
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About John Brhel John Brhel is a freelance writer from upstate New York that enjoys picking apart life's idiosyncrasies and listening to Huey Lewis & the News.