How To Tell If She’s Good In The Sack Without Actually Sleeping With Her
One challenge for me in dating is that I have to know if I’m sexually compatible with a woman before I’ll get into a relationship with her. From experience, I know relationships never last when the sex is mediocre. Therein lies the rub. Women generally don’t want to have sex unless you’re in a relationship. To me, that’s putting the cart before the horse.
One solution of course is to use your awesome skills to get her in the sack during the dating phase. From there, you can make a determination if she’s relationship material, or at least headed in that direction.
But, let’s assume for a second you can’t or don’t want to sleep with her early on. Yes, I know that sounds strange, but if you’ve dated as many women as I have, you get to a point where sleeping with another chick becomes more trouble than it’s worth. I prefer to weed out the woman who are definitely incompatible and save myself a bunch of drama.
Before I reveal my simple technique for checking for sex worthiness, I’m making a couple of assumptions here. I’m assuming the woman I’m talking to is attractive physically and at least halfway intelligent. Obviously, if she looks like Swamp Thing and is dumb as a box of rocks, that’s not going anywhere.
What I do is use a simple conversational ladder where I introduce the subject of sex and get her to describe her sexual values. Once I have that information, I can narrow down pretty closely if we’re compatible in the sack. Women actually enjoy talking about their sex lives, and if you can get them comfortable enough to do so with you, you can pretty much ascertain if you’ll be compatible with her.
I start by asking if she has had any crazy dating encounters in the past. Then I’ll trade funny/crazy stories with her for a bit (I have a lot of these). In one of the stories I’ll talk about a goofy sexual experience and have her do the same. From there the ice is broken. I can usually get her to talk about sex as much as I want, and I may even straight up ask her what her sexual values are.
Another twist that works great is to tell a story about a past relationship where you broke up because the sex wasn’t good and describe why it wasn’t good. Then I ask her if she’s ever had a similar relationship (where the sex wasn’t good). Women almost always have relationships where the sex sucks, the reason being that most guys are lousy in the sack. What you want is for her to describe why it wasn’t good and also describe her sexual values. Was he a cold fish? Frequency not enough? Kinks weren’t the same? Didn’t like oral? Etc etc.
I won’t go into great detail about what sexual values I’m looking for, but suffice it to say I have my kinks and I have to be in a relationship where our kinks are compatible. I can’t compromise on that. Once all of that is on the table, I can make a decision on whether to move forward.
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About Lance Lance is a tech geek by day, social artist and fitness enthusiast by night. He specializes in relationships in real life situations, such as workplace and in business, and his goal is to create high value social circles filled with opportunity. For more on his dating and relationship perspective, check out his blog honeyandlance.com