Surviving the Second Date
Much is made of the all-important first date, but the second date is a pretty big deal too. You’ve done well to get to a second date, but it can be easily derailed. It’s still a trial period- there’s no room to get complacent yet. If anything, a second date can be even harder than a first date. You’ve jumped through the first hoop, but she may have some more difficult tests for you in mind.
A simple first date where you have the chance to get to know each other is ideal. By the second date, you still have plenty of talking to do but you can’t just replicate the first date. Taking her on yet another dinner date will bore her. She wants to know that you can keep things interesting and don’t rely on the same tired old formula- after all, at this stage that is probably her best indicator of how you’ll fare in the bedroom. Your second date should be a little more quirky.
You don’t want to surprise her with a wacky date like going to a circus only to find out that she has a crippling fear of clowns. Tell her your idea, but have a few more up your sleeve just in case she doesn’t like it. On your first date, try to find out if she has any interests that could make for a great second date. It doesn’t need to be particularly creative. For example, if she mentions that she likes a particular music genre, take her to see a live band that she’ll like.
If you have nothing to work with from your first date and have no idea where to take her, some fool-proof ideas that most women will adore include dessert bars, the zoo (so many cute animals!) and stage shows.
Build rapport by referring to something that happened on the previous date. She’ll feel like you’ve known each other for longer. Don’t drone on about it- a quick reference will go a long way. It’s also an opportunity to comment on any jewelry she wears. Take note of any necklaces, bracelets and rings that she wore on the first date; if they make an appearance on the second date you can tell her that you’ve noticed she’s wearing the same jewelry and ask about its significance. Inevitably there will be a story, and she will be flattered that you paid her such close attention that you know exactly what she wore.
You can’t get away with having one date outfit, or you’ll be screwing yourself out of the next date. She will notice if you’re wearing the exact same clothes. Dress similarly to how you did on the first date as you want to look like you have a distinct sense of style, but make sure all the key pieces of your outfit are different.
Everyone has their own rules about when it’s appropriate to sleep together. Some are happy to go for it on the first date, others prefer to wait. Don’t expect that just because you’ve gotten to the second date, that you’re going to get laid. If anything, she might be put off by you acting like you deserve it. Similarly, if you did have sex on the first date, don’t expect that you’ll get it on the second date. While you should strive to create sexual tension, you don’t want to ruin everything by making her feel like you’re only after one thing unless she’s made it clear that she has the same intentions.
About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/