How To Use The Power Of “Likeness” To Create Explosive Chemistry
Jon Sinn here, and today I want to talk to you about one of the most powerful and least talked about tactics when it comes to flirting and creating attraction with a woman you’re attracted to.
I’m talking about the idea of likeness.
Likeness is the idea that you and the women are very, very similar. You have things in common. Likeness is all about commonalities, and corollaries. All of these things that exist; if you live in a city and you’re in a bar or club, you probably have more things in common with that girl who is also in the same city and the same bar and club, than you have things that are not in common.
It’s just that most people don’t know how to show the otherwise, unseen commonalities. That’s why a lot of the times when you see guys talking to girls, they will grasp at straws by saying something like, “Oh, you went to college at USC, did you know Sandra Cohen?” or, “Oh, you work for DreamWorks, do you know Jake Shields?”
But the way to build likeness is not by doing those grasping for straws kind of ideas, but instead, by showing the woman the otherwise unseen commonalities that exist in your city such as restaurants you go to, people you know in common in the context of the night. People you know in common in the club—bartenders etc…
Just knowing the same bartender creates a likeness; knowing the same promoter creates a little bit of likeness. Knowing the same door person, knowing the same owner of a restaurant. All of these things create likeness.
Likeness is the key to chemistry, and no other dating guru is even aware of this, let alone teaches it. In fact, if you look at all of the classic studies on attraction, every one of them comes back to likeness.
If you go to basic psychology classes, Psychology 101, Intro to Psychology—even before 101, anything you read in those text books says that people like those who are like them. We tend to like people that are like us.
The best example of likeness comes in the form of people who share the same name. They have done several studies, most famously, one at UCLA where people were 70 times more likely to like someone who had the same name as them, or remember someone who had the same name as them, than they were people who had different names.
So the more you can show the girl that you guys have a similar perspective — you hang out at similar places, you have similar lives — the more that chemistry is going to be instantly created, because that’s what creates the ah-ha switch moment. When the woman realizes that you and her have a lot in common, and that it makes sense for the two of you to hang out, that is the ah-ha moment. That’s why it is much easier to set up a date with a girl when you have an interest in common.
If both of you like to do karaoke, it’s easy to set up a karaoke date. If both of you like to rollerblade, it’s easy to set up a rollerblading date. These little things make a huge, huge difference. Without likeness, you just have attraction, and social comfort. Maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. With likeness, it works almost every single time.
So, likeness is important because it warms the cold approach. A cold approach, by definition, is cold. It’s when you don’t have anything in common, you don’t know her, or have any social ties. There is really no reason for her to even be nice to you, unless you do things to deserve it. But by showing her you like the same food, you go to the same clubs, and you know people through one to two degrees of separation, even famous people, you create likeness.
So by discussing these things and having a similar opinion with the girl to which you build likeness, and you stop being a stranger, now the girl can extrapolate, “Okay, he thinks this about X, Y and Z, he must be this type of a person”. And if she starts to say, “Oh, hey, I’m like that. I like that”, and now, there is chemistry.
Likeness is just one of three parts of my complete Effortless Conversation System. You can get the complete system today for only $5.95 by clicking on this link.
Hope that helps,
About john sinn Sinn is widely regarded as the second best PUA in the world. Sinn is known for his hard nosed style and take no excuses approach to teaching. He is a nondenominational teacher, which means that he subscribes to no particular method and instead blends the best of every school of seduction to create the best possible results for himself and his students. Sinn is currently running his own pick up company The Sinns Of Attraction, which offers live, phone and email training.