No One is Above the Fundamentals
The guy who needs to read this article most is the guy who’s already pretty damn good with women. And he probably won’t. Most guys who start achieving success with women cut themselves off from taking advice, think they have it all figured out, and eventually start to believe they’re “above the game.”
And this is why guys hit slumps, settle for mediocre girlfriends, and lose their edge with women. The male ego has an incredible way of erasing our memory. Even if we struggled to become better, more attractive men, if we taste the fruits of success for too long we begin to believe that “the process” no longer applies to us. This article is a reminder that it does.
I’m not above thinking I’m above the game, either. There are still nights I go out with friends, look around and see plenty of hot, approachable women, and do nothing because of one of the following excuses:
• I already have a hot girl(s) I’m seeing, so I don’t need to do more approaches
• Doing tons of approaches isn’t me anymore; I can do a one-shot, one-kill if I see a girl that moves me (which leads into the most common excuse…)
• There are no girls here I want to approach
If you’ve had any success with women, you’ve probably made one (or all) of these excuses at some point. Now, if you’re in a committed relationship, that’s a different story. But if you could conceivably approach women, and you don’t, you think you’re above the fundamentals.
And no one is above the fundamentals.
One of the things I love (and hate) about “the game” is that the same rules apply the freshest, most inexperienced newbie as to the most seasoned ladies’ man. If you neglect the fundamental rules of meeting women, you’re not going to meet women. Period.
The most obvious of these rules is that you have to approach women! (Duh!) Yet, the more experienced guys begin to delude themselves that this isn’t necessary to meet women. I can think of a number of friends who were once good with women, who now sit around and bash the idea of approaching, acting as if they’re above it.
Unfortunately, this leads guys down a path to even more delusions. This is when guys start bragging that girls “want” them but they just “don’t want to have sex with them.” And the longer a guy ignores the fundamentals, the more ridiculous his delusions become.
One of my favorite mean phrases to throw in the face of guys who aren’t taking action is to tell them to “crawl back to their warm little cocoon of mediocrity.” I love patronizing the lazy with this phrase because I hate seeing guys give up once they become mediocre.
Very few guys find dating advice because they’re good with women. I certainly sucked when I first started. Yet, so many guys give up once they have their first taste of success because it’s easier not to obey the fundamentals.
Look: I’ll be the first to say that there’s nothing fun about the fundamentals. When you’re a guy who’s had some success with women, it’s almost degrading to feel as if you need to approach women like some newbie and open yourself up to rejection from girls who you might not even feel THAT attracted to (gasp!).
I’ve been there and I know your excuses are bullshit (because I’ve made them, too). So let this be a reminder to you: you’re not better than the fundamentals. Don’t let your pride convince you otherwise. If you don’t do the things that got you success with women, you won’t continue to enjoy success with women. Instead, you’ll enjoy making excuses and basking in your ego.
Again, most of the delusional guys I’m writing this for won’t even bother reading it. So for those who ARE reading these words, heed my warning: once you enjoy success with women, don’t delude yourself into thinking you can stop the productive habits that got you there. Otherwise you’re going to find yourself crawling back to your warm little cocoon of mediocrity.
>>>To Learn More From Rob, Check Out “The 4 Elements of Game” where he breaks down game into four simple adjustments.
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About Rob J. Rob J. is a writer and dating instructor in New York City. Themes that resonate in both his teaching and writing are masculinity, genuineness, rational self-interest, and general awesomeness.