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When She Asks You To Go To Her Family Holiday Celebrations

It’s the question that nobody wants to hear at this time of year: “do you want to come to my family’s Christmas?”

It means she’s serious about you

familyceleb2Most women are not going to just invite any guy that they happen to be seeing around the festive season to a big family Christmas. Her asking you to come with you is her way of telling you that she is serious about you. She’s in it for the long-term, and thinks that it’s probably a good time to introduce you to the family. Accepting her invitation means that you are confirming that it is a serious relationship. Particularly if her family holiday celebrations are a formal affair, her inviting you is a big deal and your response could define the rest of your relationship.

How to decline

You don’t have to have an awkward discussion about how you think it’s too soon for you to come to her family holiday celebrations. Thank her for the invitation, politely decline, and tell her that you have your own family event to go to. Not inviting her to come to your family celebrations will give her the hint that you’re not serious about her. If you think it’s too soon but you may one day be serious about her, tell her that maybe you’ll go with her next year. You don’t need to think of an elaborate excuse for why you can’t go, doing so will just make you look silly. It’s best to be straight up and honest about why you don’t want to go, but if you really can’t face having a serious discussion about why you’re not so serious about her, it can be easily avoided for now.

However, if you thought she was just a fling but she seems to think it was something more, it’s important that you have a talk and make your expectations clear. Her asking you along to a family event is her way of expressing that she wants to be more serious- and if that’s the opposite of what you want, you shouldn’t just go along with it.

If you do go to her family Christmas…

So you’ve decided it’s probably best to accept her invitation and endure an awkward family Christmas. Before you go, make sure you know what you’re getting into- ask her plenty of questions about what’s expected of you. Ask how formal it is, what you should bring, and how long it will take. It may be awkward to ask, but it will be more awkward if you arrive empty-handed for the kris kringle because you didn’t think to ask if you should bring presents. Even if she says not to bother to bring anything, you should bring a bottle of wine or something similarly useful for the hosts. You don’t need to be an etiquette expert to know that you should be on your best behaviour for the day. Expect awkward questions from her elderly relatives about when you’re going to give them grandchildren.

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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/

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