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When She Meets Up With Her Ex

Your girlfriend is regularly meeting up with her ex for regular “coffee breaks”. Maybe that coffee is a little steamier than you thought.

It’s a huge red flag

It’s absolutely not a good sign when she remains in close contact with her ex. Especially if he is a recent ex, it is inappropriate for her to be meeting up with him one-on-one when she’s got a new relationship going. It is possible that they are just really close friends, but don’t assume this is the case. Keep an eye out for shifty behavior.

Why is she telling you?

coffeeex2Consider her motive for telling you that she’s meeting up with her ex. Perhaps it is all above board, and she’s telling you because she wants to keep everything in the open. It’s also possible that she is cheating with him, and she’s only telling you that she’s meeting up with him so that you think she is being totally honest with you.

Seeing her ex to make you jealous

The other possibility is that she’s trying to make you jealous. In this case, what she’s doing with him is probably quite harmless. You should avoid giving her the reaction she wants, otherwise she will persist to keep getting that reaction. One way to tell if she is only doing it to get a rise out of you, is if she does similar things with many guys. If she openly flirts in front of you or tells you all about how she went out on the weekend and got so many offers, it’s because she wants you to be jealous. The best approach is to keep your cool, and not give her the reaction she wants. When she tells you that she got a coffee with her ex, tell her that it’s great that she has such a good relationship with her ex, and ask her how it was. Once she knows that you don’t care, she will quickly stop trying to make you jealous- if that is the real reason.

Can you give her an ultimatum?

If you haven’t been together for long, it’s not appropriate for you to tell her that she has to choose between you and her ex. However, in a more serious relationship, it’s one of those things you need to talk about. You should tell her that you’d rather she not meet up with him, and see where the conversation goes. If she doesn’t at least understand why you’re concerned, and insists that you’re being paranoid for thinking that something isn’t right about the situation, you can bet that she is cheating on you.

Rather than give her an ultimatum, there’s something else you can do- although it may seem a little weird. In the case that she wants to remain good friends with her ex, and he has a new girlfriend, you could meet up as a group of four. This way, you can see for yourself that she’s not sneaking around with him. If their friendship really is platonic, you’ll be able to pick up on that, and trust her to see him one-on-one.

Here is another article related to the subject: https://www.tsbmag.com/2012/07/16/when-she-compares-you-to-her-ex/

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About Natasha Abrahams Natasha Abrahams is a writer and journalism student from Melbourne, Australia. When she is not busy with being a principal writer on Weekendnotes or skipping lectures, she can be found emptying her wallet at the nearest shopping centre. You can read more from Natasha at: http://mensstyleandfashion.com/

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