3 Attraction Hacks You Can Use Tonight
We’re taught that each person is a unique individual, with distinctive turn-ons and turn-offs in the realm of dating and relationships. While that might be true to an extent, millions of years of evolution have circuited our brains to function predictably in certain respects, especially when it comes to attraction. Here are three quick tips to help make any girl you approach feel attracted to you:
Uncovering something the two of you have in common (hobby, favorite movie, favorite band, etc.) increases your chances of gaining compliance, according to research. So the best time to go for the number, ask for the date, or ask her to leave the bar with you is while the two of you connect over some commonality you share.
Keep in mind that there’s an art to leading a conversation with someone you’ve just met that will reveal commonalities. Try to skim over some general talking points until you find something that strikes a chord with her, then zero in on that.
Also keep in mind that asking girls what they’re passionate about, or what they like to do, is usually ineffective; more often than not they’ll say something along the lines of hanging out with friends, spending time with family, or other mundane types of things. It usually talks a little doing on your part to uncover interesting topics you can both genuinely bond over.
People also tend to offer greater levels of compliance to other people they find attractive. That’s why attractive women always seem to have an endless string of guys willing to drive them around, pay for drinks and dinners, buy them gifts and perform almost any non-sexual favor you can think of. The reverse is also true: Women will go out of their ways to do things for the attractive men in their lives.
How attractive girls find you is only somewhat in your control, but when you find a girl who is enamored with your physical appearance, you might be able to move things along faster than usual.
There’s a lot of talk in the PUA community about being an “alpha male”, but not too many people know the evolutionary science behind why women are attracted to that type of man.
In many different animal species, including our closest primate cousins, stepfathers kill their stepchildren. When a new male enters a group and challenges the alpha male of that group for supremacy and succeeds (read: kills him), the first thing he’ll do is kill all the children in that group who were fathered by the male he just ousted. That way he can have his own kids with the group’s females and they’ll be free to raise only his kids.
Women, therefore, developed the instinct to find the most dominant male possible, because the more dominant her partner, the less likely that he’ll be killed by another male, thus preserving the lives of their children. Even though human society doesn’t quite function the same way, human women have the same instinctual desire to find the strongest partners.
Since humans don’t live in a survival-of-the-fittest type of world anymore, and killing another man is no longer a way to impress girls, being the leader of a social group is one way to demonstrate superiority over other men.
This one borders on self-help, but there’s scientific basis behind it as well.
In a study of blind daters, participants who had been told they shared similar values and attitudes with the people they were meeting up with were more likely to enjoy the date than those who had been told their values and attitudes were dissimilar from the people they were dating.
Also, your beliefs about yourself are determined, in part, by the perceptions of those around you, according to another study. If your friends think you’re cool, you’re more likely to think you’re cool; if you’re friends think you’re weird and annoying, you’re more likely to think you’re weird and annoying.
Getting the kinds of girls you want to get, therefore, is partly contingent upon certain external factors telling you that you’re worthy of those girls, and that you would be compatible with them.
About Jordan Murray Jordan is a journalist who has written extensively about dating and lifestyle for multiple publications.