6 Reasons Why We Don’t Accept a Second Date
Dating can be awesome, or it can be pretty awful. Sometimes we have chemistry and sometimes we don’t, but it can take sorting through a few people to find it. For those time you were feeling the vibe and it turned out she wasn’t, here are some reasons why we might not have accepted your second date offer.
Obviously conversation and getting to know one another is a huge part of dating, but conversation is the key word…it’s not an interview. When you’re spewing the tough questions directly at us without letting the conversation flow in any way and it can very disarming and uncomfortable. At least let her get a drink before you dive into your five year plan questions.
This means different things to different people, but we like a hottie as much as you do. Sure, good hearts, family values, and other positive personality traits can mean more than what you look like in your underwear but there has to be something we find cute about you. This has nothing to do with traditional looks either, the most classically handsome dude can make our skin crawl if his attitude is nasty. Maybe we think you have particularly cute teeth or something. Just trust her if she says she’s not attracted to you no matter how hot you think you are.
You shouldn’t be trying to play hard to get, but you shouldn’t generally be proposing to us on the first date either. Or saying that you want to give us babies asap, or inserting yourself into our weekend plans if we didn’t invite you. There are of course circumstances where things go down like this and it’s reciprocated, but the majority of the time planning our joint future on the first date is going to come off as needy to full blown stalker depending on your intensity. We know we’re awesome, it’s nice that you think so too, but give us a minute to breathe.
Whether it’s an mismatch of pheromones or just plain sloppy kissing tactics, sometimes that’s all it takes for us to know it’s not gonna happen. Girls love a slow build toward sexy time and the hotter each step of the way is the better the sex is going to be for us. So when we’re specifically turned off by your mouth or what you’re doing with it and get pulled out of the moment that usually marks the end of the line. Let’s be friends?
We love a popular guy, but if half of our date is taken up by you chatting with the waitresses and responding to texts we’re going to wonder what we’re doing there. Relationships are challenging enough when both people are crazy about each other so if you seem like you’re just looking to fill the girl void with the face of the week it’s not real appealing. We think we’re unique and different than those other girls, and we like to be treated as such.
While we don’t want to be jumping on any crazy trains, we also don’t want to be bored to tears on the first date. We can usually tell the difference between a shy guy and a dull one, so don’t worry if you get a little tongue tied and are less than smooth self when you’re hanging out with someone new. It happens to us too. But we would like to get to know a bit you so we can decide if we want to kiss you later or not.
Do girls leave you confused as to whether or not they like you?
Let's face it. Girl's don't make it easy for you. She will often send mixed signals leaving you unable to tell if she is being friendly or flirty. If you read her signals wrong you risk rejection and embarrassment. Or worse, you blow it with a girl who wanted to kiss you.
Here is a simple and innocent move that will instantly tell you if you're in the friend zone, or if she's waiting for you to kiss her.
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About Kate Ferguson Kate Fergus is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blogs and online magazines. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce.