Ways You Give off the Commitment Phobic Vibe
A couple things can happen when casual dating starts to get more serious with a certain someone. Both parties happily move forward without resistance, someone runs, or both people stay but someone isn’t quite sure what they want. For us ladies, it can be crucial to recognize the signs that you are not quite ready to commit even if you’re sleeping in our bed every night and seem to be all in. No matter what you actually want and what is driving your behavior, here are ways you guys give off the commitment phobic vibe.
Lying is adopted in many a casual relationship situations merely as a way of keeping the peace and avoiding confrontations when you’re perhaps juggling a few things at once. Commitment relationships however, require fair communication from both sides for it go anywhere. If you feel like you’re ready to be serious with her, the lying about inconsequential stuff has got to go. Oh, and although we might not always call you out or “accept” your excuses, we still know when you’re lying.
Meeting the parents is one thing, but meeting the friends shouldn’t require as much build up. If you are being weird about letting us into the rest of your personal life you better believe we’re going to start wondering why. Assumptions might range from the fear that you don’t think we’re hot enough or you’re hiding us because you have another girlfriend, and less so that you’re afraid we won’t approve of them. We take you seriously when you’re comfortable bringing us into the circle.
Look, we don’t need to schedule out the whole month, we have plans in flux as well. But if you can never give us a time slightly in advance that’s good for hanging out, whether it’s a full on date or just TV at home, you’re not giving off the vibe that you’re ready to commit. Refusing to commit in the short term shows that you’re leaving yourself open to more appealing options…other girls, gym with your bro, video games. We pay attention to what you put first.
No matter how much time we’re spending together, if you are weird about not calling us your girlfriend we’re not going to take you seriously as a committed guy. If you have some sort of allergy to the word or PTSD then you should tell us about it, otherwise don’t come crying back to us when you find out we were keeping our options open. Sure there’s an in between phase where things might need to be worked out, but you can’t have it both ways forever.
About Kate Ferguson Kate Fergus is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blogs and online magazines. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce.