Things You Don’t Need to Reveal on the First Date
Openness and honesty in relationships is important, but so is making a good first impression. This doesn’t meant lying is a good first date tactic, but casually avoiding certain topics might be a good idea at the beginning. Gotta save something for the second date right?
We’ve all got one, most likely a few. Similarly to how you wouldn’t want to sit there crushing a girl who can’t stop talking about how rich and successful her newly ex boyfriend was, she doesn’t want to hear about how hot and nice your ex is. No matter how over it actually is.
It’s going to come out eventually, but trying to explain your strained relationship with your brother or the latest family fiasco without much reference is just going to point to trouble where it might not actually be. We all have it, that isn’t the point. The point is that it usually doesn’t translate outside of the family. You might understand exactly why your mom is super pissed that your grandpa sent you a check last week, but your date might not.
Hey there’s no shame in working on your life game, and as widely understood and normal going to therapy can be, no new girl wants to hear what your therapist thinks about anything over what you think about it. If you lead with info about your most recent therapy session she’s going to assume there are even worse things going on with you than there are. Same goes for any medications you might on, mental health or otherwise.
Just, no. Whether it’s been a year or twelve hours she seriously does not want to know. What sort of judgements would you put on her if she was revealing such details? It is what it is, don’t leave her wondering if you’re a sex addict because you can’t stop or if you’re like super terrible in bed because no one else seems interested.
Maybe your dream girl has the exact same taste in music and film as you, but if it’s really that important to you you’re going to be better off joining a very specific fandom club and meeting your dates there. Whether or not they are even aware of your obsession, if they don’t share it they are not going to have a good time talking about it over the course of a date. Girls don’t like to feel quizzed, let’s just say that.
Like it or not, women are generally not going to have the same eating habits as most men that you know. You can’t say that you like girls that can eat and then avoid dating ones that weigh over 110 pounds. It’s just not realistic for the masses. Don’t insult her “fake” gluten allergy (even if it is), and don’t make fun of her girly love of pinot grigio or her manly love of whiskey. There are more important things to worry about.
About Kate Ferguson Kate Fergus is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blogs and online magazines. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce.